Sept. 9 2010

Today? Today.  Here I am writing with so much stirring inside it's hard to know where to begin.  You see I know me, my Savior who created my innmost being knows me, but you, the rest of the world you really don't know me..some of you do, sort of.  i guess. some of you have heard my story, some of you share life with me, some of you are blessed or sometimes cursed to closely be related to the daily happenings of my life here on planet earth..but no you really don't know me. my center and core the deep aches within, the desires unmet, the questions left to roam back and forth within my mind. the passions that give me energy and make me come alive over and over again.  you haven't seen the inner explosions of overwhelming love that burst forth inside my heart when I get hugs & kisses from my sons. You haven't felt the tidal wave rush of passionate love when my husband walks into a room.  You haven't experienced how I in those brief eternal moments of sheer worship grasp a small taste of how high and wide and deep and long God's love is for me and mine for him and yet ever growing as I sway from belief and he helping my unbelief.  You haven't known the utter fright eclipsing my smiling soul when I relive the pain from my past. the days when old lies victoriously worm their way back into my head and heart caressing me with feelings of complete defeat as I surrender to their screaming demands ...so here I am trying to be technologically savvy setting up my "blog" to share with the world or my world whatever that may consist of....me.