Family Fights

There are so many books out there, numerous organizations and tons of information....outreach, missions, reaching the lost.  It seems everyone has an idea and so much of it is really good stuff. From the beginning of missions and the pioneers who began taking the gospel into the world to the most tech savvy ways of making Jesus known these days, it seems endless really...And so does the judgement.  The judgements of music being too mainstream, short term mission trips hurting rather than helping, long term grueling change of a paradigm in a Godless culture with not enough measurable results, and the list goes on.  I have personally been on the side of being judged by the specific passion God has placed on my heart for outreach and missions and sadly enough I have to be honest I have been the one judging on more than one occasion.  So what do we do with the family feuding and in cahoots with the right way to do missions?  Well the only thing that I know is to go to the source.

Philippians 3:15 says, "If on some point you think differently, that too God will make it clear to you."

Let's face it family. We think differently. A lot.  Most of the time.  But it doesn't have to become a division, judgement, or an excuse to allow pride in the form of guilt and shame to make us complacent or pride in the form of arrogance and control to perform mission and outreach on our own excluding others and for our own glory.  We can go to the Source. The Word of God and through prayer and the Holy Spirit have the revelation of clarity on this issue.

So I did that.

Here is what I found....

Romans 12:3-21
(The Message version..its a lot of verses but a direct hit on bringing clarity to this issue.)
³  Live in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
^4-6 In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of His body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.
^6-8 If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

^9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

^11-13 Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
^14-16 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
^17-19 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
^20-21 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

This pretty much sums it up and need I say much more? 
A) Focus on Jesus he is the message and the reason we go.   
B) The methods by which we do outreach, get the gospel to the ends of the earth, and provide for those in need could look a million different ways. 
C.) Do what you are called to do specifically-preach, teach, meet a need, invite, visit, encourage, empathize, give, go and don't compare yourself to any other brother or sister who is next to you doing the same thing differently or something completely different.

There is no utopia outcome that as Christians we are going to come to in missions and evangelism that will finally give a one easy universal process for missions and out reach that will fit every situation in every culture and generation. The methods are limitless yet the message of Jesus remains and fits every single time.

A missionary of the faith C.T. Studd, who not only fits his name well, but a personal hero of mine in the faith said it so well, " Remember the miller’s donkey. The miller, son, and donkey went to the market. The miller rode the donkey all the way and people exclaimed, “Cruel man, riding himself and making his son walk.” So he got down and his son rode; then people slanged, “What a lazy son for riding while poor old father walks.” Then both father and son rode, and people said, “Cruelty to animals, poor donkey.” So they got down and carried the donkey on a pole, but folks said, “Here are two asses carrying another ass.” Then all three walked and people said, “What fools to have a donkey and not ride it.” So let’s go ahead with our work for God and not care what folks say."

So brothers and sisters...church...body of Christ... take the famous slogan of the shoes you might be wearing right now and JUST DO IT! The dream, passion or calling you have in your life is there for a reason, to bring glory to your Maker and to hopefully win a few. So what if it doesn't look like so and so or measure up to anther's standards.  Live your life for an audience of one-The One- do not and I repeat do not stand still in fear and complacency or wallow in the feeling off worthlessness.  What do you fear more? The putting yourself out there in uncomfortable circumstances and sacrificing to bring Glory to Jesus and make him known? Or the fear of doing nothing and living frozen with a stalemate life that you will someday stand before God and regret not having rewards to lay at his feet? So do something and go anywhere as long as it's forward. 

And here is the thing.  We are all going to mess it up at times...we are going to hurt instead of help, we are going to miss opportunities, we are going to move to fast and we are going to move too slow.  The beautiful mess of  humans spreading the life giving message of Jesus Christ is that he really doesn't need us at all. He could do it infinitely better without our imperfect lives; yet out of his great love for us chooses to use us to be messengers of His truth by filling us with His Holy Spirit; the Same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead and in that we not only reach the lost but get to know the heart of our Savior and spend intimate time with him.

The complexity of the lost, poverty, and brokenness is an endless sea to look at alone. But if we all drop our small pebbles of faith and watch the ripple effect of deeds and actions by joining together with our giftings, personalities, and abilities could we dare see the gospel get to the ends of the earth in our generation?

He Dances To Elmo

We sat outside of the room in plastic blue chairs waiting to head into the classroom this evening. It was the usually familiar routine for parent teacher conferences. We flipped through a packet of notes and grades that had been given to us as we entered the sixth grade hallway. No surprises... predictable high marks in each subject from my brown eyed pre-adolescent... until we got to the page labeled Science. Coincidentally his lowest grade; a little below perfect but that wasn't what caught our eyes.  Hand written in black ink on the white sheet of computer generated points and percentages it read "Where did Trey learn to dance?" Before we had a chance to hear, the door opened and we moved from the blue plastic chairs in the hallway filled with waiting parents to the ones on the other side of the half-moon table opposite to Mrs. Bailey, the science teacher. 

She proceeded to tell us that she had just been talking about Trey and asked if his ears were itching. She then began to tell this story.

You see if you attend Mrs. Bailey's 6th grade science class there is sometimes a little extra time at the end of class before the bell rings.  In this particular period there is a very special boy named Hunter who battles autism.  He has a fixation with Elmo. So on those days where there is a little extra time Mrs. Bailey will pull up Elmo dancing on You Tube to bring comfort and enjoyment to Hunter's world.  And on those days when Mrs. Bailey plays Elmo dancing, Hunter stands up and dances along.  As you can imagine this could get way out of control in a room full of awkward middle schoolers trying to pull out of childhood and find their place in the world.  I can only imagine the mocks and jeers my sixth grade class would have displayed at the unusually awkward presence of the now uncool Elmo in the classroom, not to mention a peer standing up and dancing alone.  The boys would make jokes to seem cool to the girls and the girls would either politely laugh at the boys comments hoping for their attention or shyly ignore the situation as not to stand out. This is not the report that Mrs. Bailey gave on the account of what happens in her classroom.  She continued with a smile on her face to say that Trey and one other boy get up and dance with Hunter when she plays Elmo.  And when they dance, they dance with kindness to make him feel at ease, so he is not alone. She finished up by saying, "And I don't know who taught him to dance but boy does he have the moves!"

It was in those moments at hearing the act of my son dancing to Elmo that the importance for high grades diminished, yes education is important and necessary and it doesn't come that easy for everyone. It's great to strive for excellence and do your very best everyday, but of utmost importance over a 4.0 grade point average is the grade point of the heart and depth of character.

I gave Trey a clear look of approval for his actions as humility flooded my heart.  This is something I had not specifically taught my son.  This act of dancing to Elmo speaks beyond the action itself.  The Lord has given Trey the gift of evangelism and hospitality.  He draws people in with his excitement for life in most every situation, well except for maybe doing dishes or eating any meal other than sushi.  He is passionate about Jesus with his whole heart and his unashamed attitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ is contagious.  At a very young age he began witnessing to his friends about Jesus  and even lead a neighbor boy through a prayer of salvation around the age of five.  Every Wednesday night we cart a load of middle school boys to youth group and they don't just get some teaching from the word at Church they get it on the 30 minute drive there and a recap on the way home laced with insight, excitement, and enthusiasm.  I don't write these words to puff myself up as a parent like, "Look what I've done,"  but to tell you that when you put the Word of God in your kids hearts, God shows up and brings his Holy Spirit to make it alive.  It is there that your child will learn to come alive with his or her giftings and abilities and fulfill their life purpose in reaching the lost for Christ weather traveling oversees to minister to an unreached people group or dancing undignified to Elmo in a small sixth grade class room in the Midwest. I've missed many opportunities and failed miserably as a parent.  I've half listened and over reacted.  I've chickened out in my own opportunities to be undignified and "mad" for My King.  But the truth of Christ that has been read, taught, prayed for and hopefully displayed in my flawed life of grace outshines all of the mosiac fractured pieces of parenting he has experienced. Trey's life has not been a continual bed of roses walk with Jesus either. He has experienced deep brokenness at a very early age through the tragedy of divorce.  Out of his brokenness he has clung to a Savior that has given him His joy to be his strength, which it is quite a beautiful collision in my son; authentic and a necessary sustenance in his everyday life as he walks his hard road and journeys to heaven while being given the ability to do an undignified Elmo dance along the way!

In the bible, 2 Samuel 6, tells of a similar account in King David's life.  David dances unashamed and excitedly before the Lord as he takes the presence of the Lord by the Ark of the Covenant back to his people.  He is so enthusiastic in his worshipful dance that he literally "looses his pants" in front of everyone without realizing it.  When he approaches his disapproving wife he exclaims, "I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes."

 May we each learn the lesson in doing whatever it takes to bring the light of Christ wherever we are.  Becoming undignified and unaware, removing presumptions, apprehensions, and comparisons in our worship of the Lord even if it means Dancing with Elmo!

A Broken Home

If there is one thing I will never get used to it’s the pain of watching my boys and my stepchildren live in a divorced family.  The Friday afternoon gut tug when they leave home for the weekend and the Sunday evening heartache when they have to say good bye to their dad again.  People say kids are resilient and they are. My kids have it good in so many ways, they have never wondered where their food was coming from.  They have A LOT of great people in their lives who love them so much.  They have had many opportunities that many kids don’t have to travel and try new things.  They are able to have a great education and access to healthcare.   They drink clean water every day in whatever flavor they would like. But still they ache. They share holidays.  They grieve a family they once had. I watch them ache and I try hard as I can with all my control freakishness inside me to play out a scenario that will escape my children from this ache. From this brokenness. And no matter what scenario I play out somebody loses and there is still ache.  I cry. Still. I get angry still and I go to God with my anger.  God I NEVER wanted life to be like this. This was never on my radar. I promised I would never allow my children to feel the hideous effects that divorce brings, God do you see this? God help. God can you understand? And As I wrestle and battle the turmoil inside. I hear it. Again. That small voice. Truth inside. The peace washes over me and I hear the God of the universe speak to my aching heart. “I know. I watch my kids, all my kids, on this planet from the beginning of time until now live in a broken home.  This world was not meant to be this way. Humans were not made for death and war and disease. They were made perfect and in my image. But my love allowed choice my love was not forced and they chose their own way. There was a great divorce. It happened in a Garden when man broke covenant with me. The whole earth aches because of that choice. Relationships suffer. Physical bodies suffer. I see the effects divorce has placed on my kids every day. But oh child do not lose heart because this world and this hurt is not the end. Divorce and a broken home is not where it ends. Redemption is here. Redemption is now. I made a way for my kids to be healed and whole and free and there will be a day when my kids will no longer live on this broken home called earth. I am preparing a place a place where there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more hurt, no more sorrow, no more death and my kids will live safe secure and free with me walking on streets of gold and living in mansions. I am preparing a wedding feast where the broken will be redeemed and there will be a wedding reconciling God and man into an eternal, never-ending unflawed perfectly bonded unity where worship praise and love of me will fulfill and restore man back to the way I perfectly created him in the first place. The sorrow I see in your heart and now on planet earth is only a portion of a very big picture. Hold on my child point your children to Me. Live in me.  Cling to me. Grow in me and allow my spirit to be the golden thread that binds you to continual truth as you live out your days in this broken home. Live them out well find purpose value and meaning. Keep your faith persevere do not quit you are headed home.”

My heart relents from my fighting stance, my circumstances, my children’s circumstances haven’t changed. But Home we are headed.