My oldest son called me recently saying, “Mom I had the
worst dream. It was about you. I don’t
even want to say it.” My reaction was
“Out with it son!” He proceeded say was
stating his case with me on why violence isn’t always bad. In the dream he said, “If someone came to our
house to harm my brothers, I would do whatever it took to protect them.” As he
was talking he eventually realized that I had left the room; no longer listening.
He went outside to find me, yet I continued to be shut down in listening to his
point. As frustration overtook him he
ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and worked to regain his
composure. Eventually he came out; stood
at the chair I was now sitting in, and passionately attempted to persuade me to
listen. With his best effort failing to my unlistening ears, I stood up and in
a loud whisper, nose to nose said to him, “SHHHH you’re going to wake the
baby!”
I usually don’t give much thought to dreams. Not a big
believer that they are a message or have underlying meaning, but this one’s
timing and content was clearly striking a cord on many levels. Some of it was personal that my son and I
discussed and worked through. At the
time I thought that was it. But as I continued to pray and think over the next
few days, the Lord began to speak to me on a larger level.
I hate violence. Duck
to confrontation at all costs. Despise shooting games. Am repulsed at most movies and TV shows
because of the violence, fighting, shooting…. I detest disorder and
disagreements.
From the time my boys were little I have struggled to even
play with them. I would sit down to
“play” dinosaurs. My son would begin attacking my dinosaur, make loud roaring
sounds and knock my dinosaur straight to the ground with great joy. I would panic inside thinking “How have I
failed so miserably as a mother?” Immediately in a super cheery voice, I would coax
my son to have all the dinosaurs “be friends.” “Let’s give them nice names. “ (Names that you
might give to the family pet, I.E. Lucky, Max, Cupcake.) I would turn playing into a math game and
give instructions to sort the dinosaurs only to have the little groups of dinosaurs
get mutilated once again by the ferocious T-Rex. I would say, “Let’s line all the dinosaurs up
and count them!” This took a while (there were a lot) so it bought me some
serious moments of calm and order in our play. Yet, when the dinosaurs were all
lined up at attention, you guessed it; each innocent dinosaur became annihilated
by the almighty T-Rex. I eventually gave
up playing dinosaurs with my first born.
When my second son
came along it was cars. He could figure unlimited
scenarios to crash matchbox cars. Off his bunk bed, from the top of the
banister, running off the deck, or crashing into each other. Each premeditated
crash gave him a shrill of elation and joy.
Where was I going wrong? Can’t
the cars just be friends? For crying out loud there are innocent people in
these cars. Be a safe driver. Buckle up.
Obey the rules. Drive safely.
Each attempt of mentoring my middle son to play nice with the cars ended in an
epic fail. Eventually I stopped trying
to play cars; the barrier was too much, I could not figure out this twisted
form of play.
This was not the end; my third son was born with the same
condition. All day long he would talk about horses, play
with horses, or pretend to be a horse. I
was beginning to see the pattern, although not quite as violent and barbaric as
the previous two males I bore, the horses constantly raced with conquering and
wild passion to beat the other weaker horses, and yes no matter what I did to
have mannerly horses in my home, they fought, they bucked, they whinnied in
anger at the other horses trying to conquer one another day in and day out on
the floor of my living room.
Fast forward, I am now the parent of young adult, teenage,
and preteen boys. This violent passion
to conquer, defeat, and battle, no matter how forceful and insistent I have
been to domesticate them is still alive and very well. Now they get their
adrenaline rush by racing four wheelers, doing stunts off the back of a boat,
or speeding through drifts of snow on a snowmobile. Entertainment is a movie or
show on TV where their eyes view constant action, destruction, demolition. I cannot contain this devoted passion to
fight and battle within my sons. They
wrestle each other, challenge one another, and flex their muscles in front of
one another. I am beginning to
understand why.
There is a battle happening.
In our world violence is everywhere. One cannot have a TV on and not see something
or someone getting blown up, shot at, stalked, chased etc… The games that are
available in our society are horrifically violent , needing to have a rating
system due to their “mature” content.
But just like my son’s dream, I am now seeing that violence is not
always bad.
Did you here that boys?
So pardon me boys for trying to domesticate you. I was wrong.
Still, I cannot stand for you continually and habitually using the
majority of your time and brain on a mindless games spending hours on end
trying to win an epic battle on a screen with your thumbs. I have to answer for each minute as a parent
I allow you to sit on a comfortable couch while watching someone else in a pretend
scenario conquer virtual evil through violent acts that Hollywood creates which
reaps millions for them and gains nothing.
I will continue a zero tolerance policy for bullying anyone in our home
or otherwise. But go ahead and fight. Get off the couch, put down the controller,
stop targeting your brother and let’s zone in on the real battle.
Ephesians 6…says it better than I ever could…
“We are not waging war against enemies of flesh and blood
alone. No, this fight is against
tyrants, against authorities, against the supernatural powers and demon princes
that slither in the darkness of this world, and against wicked spiritual armies
in the heavenly places.”
There is a battle going on.
And you as men were designed to fight in it. Not with your thumbs, or in front of a
screen, and not with your brother. You
were designed to fight with armor. The Armor of God protecting your heart,
soul, mind, and all your strength as you live this life and conquer the
darkness. There is a battle here and now
and I charge you to stand up and fight.
You don’t have to play nice, be friends, or display manners
when you fight this battle. You can be
barbaric, passionate, and relentless. Your battle is against the sin, and
darkness of the fall, satanic forces trying to destroy God’s light in you and
around you and to stop it from spreading to those who have not yet found the
life changing message of Jesus Christ.
So my sons be violent, vigilant, daring, and
relentless. Zone in on your
purpose. You were made for more. More than a virtual battle. You were made to fight the battle here and
now on your feet or on your knees; with your whole heart, soul, mind and
strength. Love Jesus and allow his son
ship to flow into, around, and over you.
Believe He is for you and no one can be against you. Boys you are on the side of victory. Fear
nothing except an honor fear of a Holy God who is your full authority. This life will become so much more as you
arise and fight.
I see the passion in you, the sensitivity, the soul desires.
I see the servant hood and selflessness in you the honoring of others
especially women and children as you, like a fine warrior, love the poor,
orphan and widow, honor women as the
beauty and treasure that they are to men on planet earth. Use your intellect, your mind and understand.
Fight with your wisdom and insight to defend the gospel message of your Lord
Jesus, who not only rescued, but equips you with memory and insight and
understanding.
You were made for this. As a mother I must instruct you. Do
not fight unprepared. Get ready.
Go out with your swords, the sword of the spirit. Take the
mighty word of God, pointed straight out in front of you as you run into the
darkness, the corrupt, broken, chained, forgotten, and violent.
Put on the helmet of salvation. Allow your mind to be infiltrated with his
truth about who you are; mighty man of God, no longer bowing to lies. You were bought at a price; you are a free
man by his blood and through his sacrifice. Yu are whole, healed, completely
loved and deemed worthy just as you are.
Walk bravely forward. Do not cower in a corner expecting to someone else
to go.
Put on the breast plate of righteousness. Become pure as you
die to yourself, and the dripping temptations of the world. That is not what you were made for. You were
made to be sanctified; regenerated into the likeness of Jesus as you seek out
his righteousness. This looks weak to the world. The world is lying to you. This
is where you become strong. Shield your eyes my son from the soft porn that
drips in front of wherever your eyes turn. Make a covenant with God to save
your eyes and your body for the wife he has designed and prepared for you and
then enjoy and indulge freely.
Go on this upward hill and look evil straight in the eyes.
But first buckle around your waist the belt of truth. This truth shines light on lies. Lies in you.
Lies that you will unveil in others. Know that truth will completely set you
free. Jesus is truth and when you are
free in Jesus you are free indeed.
Be intense. Be
intentional. Do whatever it takes. Go wherever
you must for the sake of His call on your life. But first my son, grab your
shield of faith. This battle will get
long and you will become weary. You will
feel as if you are defeated at times, there will be so many questions, there will be
fiery darts from the side of evil continually shot at you to try and get you to
surrender. But you take up your shield
of faith. That we are sure of what we
hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Take up your shield and claim the faith as people are won by the Blood
of the Lamb and the word of your testimony.
Go out my son and run valiantly into the darkness rescue
women, orphans, the sick, the poor, the abused, the addicted, the unloved, the
ones who have been tricked by the world. But don’t’ forget your shoes the shoes
of peace which will protect you from becoming bitter, needlessly mad, and
discontented. The peace, His peace that
surpasses understanding will guard your heart and your soul as you fulfill the
kingdom agenda he has set before you.
And yes boys there is a winner. Jesus has overcome. We are on the side of victory. You will defeat Satan. You will come to
victory in heaven one day. Where you
will see fully what you can only see dimly now.
You will see the hungry feast at his table, you will witness him wipe away
every tear, even your own. You will see death be swallowed up with life, His
life. You will see no more night. No more darkness; the light of the Lamb will
be our everlasting light. You will see Satan, his cheap and pitiful demons and
those who unfortunately choose not to believe bow in regret and confess Jesus
as Lord and forever separated from perfection and lasting life in heaven. You will see the poor become rich as they come
home to the mansions Jesus is preparing for his church right now. You will see those who feel ugly, and unloved
and unworthy be made into the beautiful bride of Christ pure and spotless as he
returns for her. You will see all of
your fighting efforts come full circle. Son fight.
Fight with the power of the Spirit, the same spirit that
raised Jesus from the dead, in you. Fight and do not relent. Even if you are the only one, even if you
feel you are gaining no territory fight. The word says if you do not give up
you will reap a harvest. Fight and be
the warrior you were created to be. I will
train you and then step out of the way and cheer for you from my princess heart.
