Since the ingenious invention of Face Book, I have finally succumbed to, I will refer you to my page to see updates of our family and what life has brought for 2010! It certainly has been a whirlwind filled with many exciting accomplishments, adjustments, changes, challenges, excursions, hard work, and life lessons learned. Instead I want to share a thought I have been pondering relevant to the holiday season.
I have been wrestling with the fact that God uses us; flawed, fearful, sceptic, limited, humans to carry out his purposes. The whole thing really blows me away actually. I think about how with the sound of His voice the storm in the sea is stilled; it takes us grueling weeks to contain an oil spill in a small part of the ocean. How by the touch of his hand sick are healed; it takes us scheduling appointments, creating medicine to put people in a sleep state, and then cutting into them with a knife. His presence alone causes the sinful woman at the well to have her heart melted to him which causes her to go tell all of the people who had mocked her and labeled her as an inbred; of his love. It takes us praying, building relationships, and lots of time for most souls to soften to a faith in Jesus. With the sound of his voice the dead rise, we can't even touch that. So why does God ask us to participate in his Kingdom agenda? Why does he cast us with roles in his story? My mind is small but understands more and more that His ways are not my ways. Even still, I had this thought that touched a bit on what it might possibly be like for God to have us to participate with Him in reaching lost and hurting people.
Maybe it's a little bit like baking cookies with my boys when they were little. There were many holiday sessions around the dining room table of creating and decorating delectable holiday delights with my little aspiring future "Cake Bosses.'" Before I ever entered into these not-even-close-to-Martha Stewart moments, I would literally have to mentally prepare for the whole process. I would reason with myself, " I could get this done a lot faster without them, the cookies would have a lot neater decor, the mess would be a fraction of what it would be, I would not have to play the cookie dough police, there would be no fighting on who got to stir first, and they would still have cookies to eat, it would get done. Somehow my heart would win over all the rational reasoning . I told myself its going to be messy, their will be sprinkles everywhere, attention spans will run out, the cookies will have sloppy angel wings, crooked Santa faces, and the Christmas trees will not be ever-green they will most likely be ever-black; its OK. "JUST DO IT MOM!" I'd get my game face on, play the invigorating Christmas tunes to pump me up; it's GO time!
Sprinkles flew! Frosting wars were had! Finger licking occurred (sorry to those of you who received our cookies)! The boys bounced in and out of their seats as the dog sniffed his way to the kitchen counter where the cookies cooled to sneak a few of the warm morsels. Yes it took a lot more effort when those little assistant chef's in training invaded the kitchen and a power of the wills began as to who would get to stir first and who would get to lick the beater. As a mom I would lace the whole process with little sentence prayers for God to help me and give me patience NOW! For Him to please turn down the "Mom's about to blow" temperature when it seemed like a big experience of maddening chaos erupting within the confines of my dining room and kitchen. Why was it so important that they were there? Why did it matter that we did this together?
Why? As a mom with now teenage and pre-teen boys that are just a few short steps into adult hood I hold those memories dear! Now treasures tucked away in my mind, are those chubby little undeveloped fine motor skilled hands intensely spreading frosting and shaking sprinkles. Looking in on the moment I see brown eyes sparkling on little boy faces while standing on a dining room chair holding up a dripping masterpiece covered in frosting with a finishing touch of sprinkle overdose; adorned with a smiling face looking for affirmation saying, "Mama how'd I do?" which would be my cue for crazy cheering and clapping with hugs and kisses followed by kind words over the Picasso cookies. One of my son's even recently said, "Remember when we made all those cookies on our long dining room table? That was fun wasn't it mom? At the time it seemed like work more than fun. I usually ended with a backache, cookie dough embedded into my clothing, and a date with the vacuum! But looking back there was so much more going on. There were lessons being learned in reading as we read the directions, science as the ingredients were mixed together making a new creation, math in measuring out the list of ingredients, and art as we mixed colors and planned patterns on the sweet shapes. Skills of sharing with your neighbor as the frosting was passed from one boy to the other, encouraging as I did my crazy cheer leading thing, and loving your brother even when he got to stir first. But more than those teachable aspects; it was the experience of just being with my boys and sharing life with them because I just plain have crazy love for them. They mattered to me and because they matter I wanted them there. I wouldn't trade those times for anything!
I have to wonder if God using us is kind of like the cookie baking experiences I have had with my boys. Sure he could get it done a lot faster without us . The outcomes would be beautifully perfect and unflawed. There would be no quarreling among brothers. It would not get messy. He would not have to police our pride and and humanness dipping into to take a bite of the credit that is His alone. There would be no creature (Satan) sneaking around unknown ready to steal the outcomes. But God loves us, I believe that. God has crazy love for us that doesn't even touch on the crazy love I have for my boys. And because God loves us we matter to Him. And because we matter to Him-He wants us there sharing in the things that he is doing with and for His creation. Sometimes I like to imagine God in Heaven doing a happy dance with all the angels and saints, kind of like my crazy cheer leading thing when a soul connects with the message of the gospel and goes from death to life or when a believer of Jesus goes to a deeper level of intimacy and "getting it." And sometimes I dream about how I, just like my little boys who stood looking to me for an affirming word of accomplishment, will stand blue eyes sparkling on a gold paved street with my life mosaic piece infused with ingredients of sin, humanness and fallen flesh, but covered and dripping with heaping amounts of grace frosting and an overdose of mercy sprinkles and I say, "Daddy, how'd I do?" And he replies "Well Done."
This Christmas it is my prayer that we can all understand this crazy love God has for us just a little more. No, God doesn't need us but He wants us and He is waiting for us to join up with Him. First by a decision of faith to trust that he came as a baby in a manger, lived as a human without sin, and died on a cross as a Savior. Then to become Holy-Spirit filled, sold out, followers of Christ- knowing that he wants our human efforts, as messy as they may be, to further his kingdom. Merry Christmas to everyone!
Love,
The Ever-Flawed-Grace-Dipped Fopma-Foose Bunch
Aaron, Joy, Logan, Collin, Nick, Brittany, and Trey
