Beautiful Feet

Isaiah 52:7 “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring Good News.”

I must tell you about a little girl named Zoe.  I met her while on a mission trip to an orphanage in Jamaica.  Zoe is a spunky active little girl who lives at the orphanage and goes to kindergarten just like any other child.  But life for Zoe, like most children I met, had a most unpleasant start.  Upon arrival to the children’s home as an infant, Zoe was completely worn out and exhausted from screaming and crying with no one attending to her helpless attempts for rescue so much, that pollups formed on her vocal cords and to this day she talks in a very hoarse and raspy tone.  The story is told that Zoe, unlike most infants, who are still curled up from being in their mother’s womb and snuggled in blankets, was limp and lifeless with limbs open upon arrival to the orphanage; silent and without a voice.  The staff had to tightly swaddle her and hold her close to them for her to be able to begin to learn attachment, bonding, and to “bring her back to life”.  Thank goodness for the love and care that she has been given over her tender years and although very needy Zoe is an active, lively, and thriving child.  I had the honor to meet Zoe in a very special way while at the Robin's Nest. I was sitting in a wooden rocking chair the first morning of our trip drinking a cup of coffee and taking in all the busy activities of the morning as the children were getting off to school.  Still completely overwhelmed emotionally by the entire situation of last nights drive up the steep mountain in a terrain of pot holes and partially paved roads inside the lavish tropical landscape while riding in an overpopulated jalopy of a van, to this little “city on a hill” orphanage. The shock of hitting the ground running  upon arrival- feeding and holding babies, changing diapers, reading devotions & praying with girls, and acting as a human jungle gym, not to mention a giant community Kleenex for many noses. Needless to say the familiar taste and inviting smell of coffee was very welcoming as I tightly held the mug and sat quietly anticipating how the day would unfold.  I did not know what to expect from this mission trip. I went with only an open mind to go and step into whatever God had waiting for me.  What was waiting was more than I could have ever dreamed, hoped, or imagined. 

Quietly, without a word or even eye contact little Zoe knelt down in front of me that sunny morning and began gently wiping my feet with a damp white cloth. The room came to a hush as the chaos echoed distantly while I sat in the rocking chair with the most humbling and indescribable feeling in my soul.  I came to serve. I came to be the beautiful feet to bring the good news up this mountain to the little ones, and here she was, this precious orphan child tenderly wiping my feet.  What seemed like forever was probably under a minute while she continued washing my feet very diligently with her little white cloth as tears rolled down my cheeks.  Zoe did not know me.  Zoe did not know that I was going to this place to get out of myself and the brokenness of my own life as a step of healing.  Zoe didn't know that I too had been in a season of feeling lifeless, limbs open, and numb to the devastation of a personal blow to my heart. Zoe did not know that the grieving of my soul had left me spiritually hoarse; worn out and exhausted from my crying attempts of rescue. No Zoe did not know but rescue came so specifically in that time because you see Zoe and I have one strong thing in common- we have the same Father and he knew.  I came to serve in this place and here I was being served humbly and graciously by this little princess of the Most High God.  In those moments my white skin and her black skin faded.  In those moments my comfortable wealthy western culture lifestyle and her poverty melted.  Yes there in those moments the ground at the foot of the cross was level.  No greater no less.  We were both the least of these.  Those moments changed me eternally forever.

Soon Zoe rose from her serving position, she did not look at me only jumped up and pranced away and jumped into the chaos and excitement of the morning with all the other children and merrily went off to school.  I really had to get alone with God to even be able to process the events of those moments.  And as I did God spoke this truth to my heart, “You are no different than my beloved Zoe, you are the same and your meager attempts to serve and love me are just as pleasurable and pleasing to me as little Zoe, who I am so fond of, washing your feet, all beautiful in my sight.” 

The next morning I had a divine appointment to play with and love on Zoe.  We never spoke of that intimate eternal moment when she sat at my feet but we giggled,  cuddled, and swung without care on the swing set.

Did you know that Zoe means life?  

Thank you Zoe for being like Jesus and bringing life to my soul.  You are such a precious little princess, I will forever hold a serious affection for how beautiful, like Jesus, you are!

Is God calling you out?

Out of your normal?

Out of your predictable?

Out of your comfortable?

Is God asking you to do something crazy with his love?

Are you in need of overcoming! -I encourage and challenge to find healing in loving and serving others!

He is calling you!  Serve - Go...Go!

Today where you are, you will be forever changed and you will realize the walls fall down as the Savior's love convinces us through serving by the power of his Holy Spirit that we are all the least of these.....

Before you Cross the Line

Some thoughts have been dancing around in my head
they come and go and I leave them unsaid
but as I sit here in the quiet of this hour
I wonder if these thoughts could have a greater power.
To minister, heal and be a light in the dark
To capture even the most stubborn of heart
The words to come upon this page may seem to some to be said out of hate
Angry, fear, sadness and grief
But know my friend I only write to bring relief
A clarity perhaps into confusion
Where it is unveiled the road that you've considered choosing
I've chose it too
I 've dreamed of living in the gray
And even lived it out I'm so sorry to say
Felt the effects of others living it out too
The gray of someone fleeing away
That was once held dear and so close inside
But true love in Christ must not hide
Cover up
Mask or give a haughty impress
Bring your ear close friend and give a listen
not to the tragedy that I've faced
But to truth and consequences
that I thought would steal grace
From the precious ones I hold so dear and to my own shaking spirit drenched in fear
so today dear soul as she slowly combs her fingers through her hair and ties you in with her glances and stares
And his conversation sweet as honey
please listen friend
This sorrowful message that I now send.
It starts with a glance a look a wavering thought and for many a reason it lingers on the secret dark and hidden away grows more the lust day after day until the telling moment when you break the bond you made to your best friend and cross the line you swore never to
You've climbed the fence and sat on its edge
the pain of sitting in the middle of gray you could not do for one more day
Of living fake and living double
You crossed the line not thinking of the trouble
The ripple effect; the truth of consequence
Who are you now
do you have a defense
The looks the glances the innocent words are now all gone it has all taken a turn for the worst
But worst right now it might not seem
 maybe a relief to you it will bring
but only for a season
and for the most shallow of all reasons
You justify mull and preach to yourself in your head
as the you you once were lies silent and dead
its captured and gagged and locked tight away
You are now the new you where you feel a new day
the grass seems greener
day seems clear
But oh friend here me it is drawing so near
where the you locked away must come out
You will find it bit by bit starting with a whisper and slowly growing to a shout
You will see it first in your bank account
That leaves you in a negative state as it unfolds it will be a most unfortunate of fates
that is only the surface friend
the you inside is begging to see the falseness that lust made you to be
And pride its most truest companion of all
They say it comes before the fall
fall you did in their little eyes
so innocent as you take a look in their grief stricken skies
The battle they suffer because of your sin
Is hurting them even deeper within
Where they question God and all that they once held true
of family and fun and the hero they saw in you
The pain if you look is the most frightening to the heart
when all that was safe if torn apart,
So if you are there friend, with lust whispering in your ear
And the security of pride taking hold of you
Flee
Run as fast as you can
Do not look back even for a glance
I promise you friend take this bold and daring chance
be vulnerable in the confession state
Do it now you must
do not wait
Their eyes have not yet cried those horrific tears
you have not yet heard the silence where there was once peace and love
Friend turn and run
If my friend you are sitting on the fence teetering back and forth to and fro
On a black and gray see saw controlling your soul
take a step back
stop teetering on the fence
you can still return you can still live right
Turn around
Get off
Do not hide
Light will shine forth on you
Tend your garden
Make it fresh and renewed
Water the flowers let their roots grow deep
the produce of joy you will soon reap
And peace like a river
Will flow strongly through you
connecting to the source
of who delivers you
And reconciles you again to his son
 live in your garden my friend
Spring has sprung
 new life is waiting
 the fantasy was a farce
a cheap deceiving counterfeit lie
from the pit of hell
do not deny
Its roots are shallow
its reality was fake
Look in front of you and see
 be alive
be awake
live in your moments with the people who love you
commit
and recommit
to the life given to you

Christmas Cookies

Hello Everyone!

Since the ingenious invention of Face Book, I have finally succumbed to, I will refer you to my page to see updates of our family and what life has brought for 2010!  It certainly has been a whirlwind filled with many exciting accomplishments, adjustments, changes, challenges, excursions, hard work, and life lessons learned. Instead I want to share a thought I have been pondering relevant to the holiday season.

I have been wrestling with the fact that God uses us; flawed, fearful, sceptic, limited, humans to carry out his purposes.  The whole thing really blows me away actually.  I think about how with the sound of His voice the storm in the sea is stilled; it takes us grueling weeks to contain an oil spill in a small part of the ocean.  How by the touch of his hand sick are healed; it takes us scheduling appointments, creating medicine to put people in a sleep state, and then cutting into them with a knife.  His presence alone causes the sinful woman at the well to have her heart melted to him which causes her to go tell all of the people who had mocked her and labeled her as an inbred; of his love. It takes us praying, building relationships, and lots of time for most souls to soften to a faith in Jesus.  With the sound of his voice the dead rise, we can't even touch that.  So why does God ask us to participate in his Kingdom agenda?  Why does he cast us with roles in his story?  My mind is small but understands more and more that His ways are not my ways. Even still, I had this thought that touched a bit on what it might possibly be like for God to have us to participate with Him in reaching lost and hurting people.

Maybe it's a little bit like baking cookies with my boys when they were little.  There were many holiday sessions around the dining room table of creating and decorating delectable holiday delights with my little aspiring future "Cake Bosses.'" Before I ever entered into these not-even-close-to-Martha Stewart moments, I would literally have to mentally prepare for the whole process.  I would reason with myself,  " I could get this done a lot faster without them, the cookies would have a lot neater decor, the mess would be a fraction of what it would be, I would not have to play the cookie dough police, there would be no fighting on who got to stir first, and they would still have cookies to eat, it would get done.  Somehow my heart would win over all the rational reasoning . I told myself its going to be messy, their will be sprinkles everywhere, attention spans will run out, the cookies will have sloppy angel wings, crooked Santa faces, and the Christmas trees will not be ever-green they will most likely be ever-black; its OK.   "JUST DO IT MOM!"  I'd get my game face on, play the invigorating Christmas tunes to pump me up; it's GO time!

Sprinkles flew! Frosting wars were had!  Finger licking occurred (sorry to those of you who received our cookies)! The boys bounced in and out of their seats as the dog sniffed his way to the kitchen counter where the cookies cooled to sneak a few of the warm morsels. Yes it took a lot more effort when those little assistant chef's in training invaded the kitchen and a power of the wills began as to who would get to stir first and who would get to lick the beater. As a mom I would lace the whole process with little sentence prayers for God to help me and give me patience NOW!  For Him to please turn down the "Mom's about to blow" temperature when it seemed like a big experience of maddening chaos erupting within the confines of my dining room and kitchen. Why was it so important that they were there?  Why did it matter that we did this together?

Why?  As a mom with now teenage and pre-teen boys that are just a few short steps into adult hood I hold those memories dear!  Now treasures tucked away in my mind, are those chubby little undeveloped fine motor skilled hands intensely spreading frosting and shaking sprinkles.  Looking in on the moment I see brown eyes sparkling on little boy faces while standing on a dining room chair holding up a dripping masterpiece covered in frosting with a finishing touch of sprinkle overdose; adorned with a smiling face looking for affirmation saying, "Mama how'd I do?" which would be my cue for crazy cheering and clapping with hugs and kisses followed by kind words over the Picasso cookies.  One of my son's even recently said,  "Remember when we made all those cookies on our long dining room table? That was fun wasn't it mom?  At the time it seemed like work more than fun. I usually ended with a backache, cookie dough embedded into my clothing, and a date with the vacuum! But looking back there was so much more going on.  There were lessons being learned in reading as we read the directions, science as the ingredients were mixed together making a new creation,  math in measuring out the list of ingredients, and art as we mixed colors and planned patterns on the sweet shapes.  Skills of sharing with your neighbor as the frosting was passed from one boy to the other, encouraging as I did my crazy cheer leading thing, and loving your brother even when he got to stir first.  But more than those teachable aspects; it was the experience of just being with my boys and sharing life with them because I just plain have crazy love for them. They mattered to me and because they matter I wanted them there. I wouldn't trade those times for anything!

I have to wonder if God using us is kind of like the cookie baking experiences I have had with my boys.  Sure he could get it done a lot faster without us .  The outcomes would be beautifully perfect and unflawed.  There would be no quarreling among brothers.  It would not get messy.  He would not have to police our pride and and humanness dipping into to take a bite of the credit that is His alone.  There would be no creature (Satan) sneaking around unknown ready to steal the outcomes.  But God loves us, I believe that. God has crazy love for us that doesn't even touch on the crazy love I have for my boys.  And because God loves us we matter to Him.  And because we matter to Him-He wants us there sharing in the things that he is doing with and for His creation.  Sometimes I like to imagine God in Heaven doing a happy dance with all the angels and saints, kind of like my crazy cheer leading thing when a soul connects with the message of the gospel and goes from death to life or when a believer of Jesus goes to a deeper level of intimacy and "getting it."  And sometimes I dream about how I, just like my little boys who stood looking to me for an affirming word of accomplishment, will stand blue eyes sparkling on a gold paved street with my life mosaic piece infused with ingredients of sin, humanness and fallen flesh, but covered and dripping with heaping amounts of grace frosting and an overdose of mercy sprinkles and I say, "Daddy, how'd I do?"  And he replies "Well Done."

This Christmas it is my prayer that we can all understand this crazy love God has for us just a little more.  No, God doesn't need us but He wants us and He is waiting for us to join up with Him. First by a decision of faith to trust that he came as a baby in a manger, lived as a human without sin, and died on a cross as a Savior.  Then to become Holy-Spirit filled, sold out, followers of Christ- knowing that he wants our human efforts, as messy as they may be, to further his kingdom. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Love, 

The Ever-Flawed-Grace-Dipped Fopma-Foose Bunch

Aaron, Joy, Logan, Collin, Nick, Brittany, and Trey

Forget the Beef..."Where's the Turkeys?"

A phone call last week revealed that the local grocer kindly offering to bake off the turkeys for our annual community Thanksgiving meal, was desperately short on the turkeys needed.  We spoke on the phone of the details and he informed me that his staff would begin the thawing process that afternoon but only had 8 turkeys to unthaw.  We needed at least double that and preferably 20 turkeys. PANIC crept in and my close friend worry helped me engage in my easy come freak out mode.  I prayed, and worried, and prayed, and worried some more.  I went through my morning routine at home anxious and stressed about the matter.  I finally hopped into my car and began to head into work.  On the drive into town I said, "Ok God, I'm just going to be quiet and let you talk I have nothing here."  There was no audible out loud voice  that gave me specific instructions on how to acquire the amount of turkeys needed but there was the stillness in my car and a quickening of my spirit connecting to the Holy Spirit of Christ. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, living in me, a follower of Jesus that spoke quietly to my soul- " If you could know in your depths of my love you would know that I alone am your provider."  I prayed in my spirit "I believe, help my unbelief."
Soon I arrived at Whoop-Ti-Doos (my work place and location of the community Thanksgiving meal).  I walked up to the back door to unlock it and sitting on the back stoop were 2 turkeys.  A smile came to my face and my spirit. I began preparations for the day a little less anxious.  Soon the staff I would be working with that day arrived.  I said good morning and began speaking to her in a frenzy as if the two turkeys precariously sitting on the back stoop earlier that morning had never occurred!  "Darla, I'm freaking out, Hy-Vee is starting to thaw out our turkeys this afternoon and we are short on turkeys, we really need to pray about this!"  No longer did that statement get out of my mouth than the ding of the back door bell sounded and in walked a lady from the community.  She randomly asked, "Are you still in need of turkeys for your Thanksgiving meal?"  I looked at Darla and laughed out loud!  "Yes!", I stated! "You are actually an answer to prayer we are short on turkeys!" She led me out to her car and handed me the turkey from her back seat! At that moment I was being humbled in a huge blessing of provision and my faith for the moment went to a high level of belief and awe of the specificness of God answering my "worry-wart prayer."  I went inside and Darla and I offered a prayer of thankfulness for the turkeys and asked God to provide exactly the amount we would need for the upcoming celebration.  We went through the lunch hour rush enjoying the blessing and provision God was pouring out from heaven.  I was so full of belief in those hours I thought it could actually begin to rain turkeys from heaven! Well that did not happen, but later that afternoon Darla answered a phone call and motioned me over to her.  With a smile on her face, she said "There's a guy on the phone wanting to know if you are still needing turkeys!"  He called back later that afternoon saying that he purchased 6 turkeys and took them to Hy-Vee!  By the time I layed my head on my pillow that night we were up to 22 turkeys! As I type this I believe that we have 25+ turkeys unthawing in the coolers at Hy-Vee!  This was not only a testimony of how faithful our living God is and what a mighty provider he is but that my little boxed God does not work.  It is when we turn our hands from white knuckled to our own control and in faith lay them out and turn them upward is when God can be the awesome and mighty one that he so wants to be, in us and through us! Matthew 6:31-33 "So do not worry saying what, "What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear?"  The pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

May this story of how specific and faithful God is encourage your heart and lead you into belief and a attitude of thankfulness - no matter your circumstances, heart condition, or situation-God is waiting for your heart to turn soft to him as you surrender with hands open and upward to his provision in your life.  Believe that he  can meet your needs better that you ever could on your own! He met your greatest need by sending his son Jesus (John 3:16) to die for all of our control freak, worry wart, actions of unbelief (just to name a few) sins and provided a way to salvation and eternal life though his perfect life.  Will you believe today?  Look around to find the "turkey sitting on your doorstep" it is there waiting....Happy, Happy Thanksgiving!

BARREN

Barren.

Bucked off a Horse.

Stuck on a mountain with hiding terrorists.

Adultery in the intimate relationship you once held dear.

Cancer.

Laid Off

Foreclosure.

I’m sorry she’s gone we did all we could.

Alzheimer’s

Depression

Divorce.

Addicted

Miscarriage

Orphaned

Abuse

Neglect

Hurtful words spoken in rage to the innocent

Planned deaths of the unborn

Bombings

Motor vehicle accident

War

Loneliness

Doubt

Shy

Prostitution

Pornography

Obesity

Greed for more

More money

More attention

More fame

More praise

Falsity

Conditional love

Fatherless

Motherless

Failed

Lied to

The liar

Fear

Unwilling to become

Pride

Proud man using woman

Proud man using children

Proud man using himself

Pride

Weeds

The unwanted

Hunger

Starvation

Sex crimes

Hate crimes

Running late

Unwilling to love yourself

Unwilling to become

Dyslexia

Speech impediments

Blind

Deaf

Death

Mentally ill

Handicap

Homeless

Perfectionist

Pleaser

Worry

Scared

Love lost

Love never found

Alone

Abandon

The one who abandon

The one who broke the vow

Manipulation

Shame

Guilt

Gluten

Hoarder

Loner

Showoff

Addict

Have I named your vice?

Your ashes

What left you broken?

What caused you to break?

The thorn in your flesh that makes you feel like a mistake?

The fall that came within your spirit

The fall that continually comes

That thing that you do that you don’t want to do

Many and ongoing you must know them as they creep in; stifle and cripple your soul

But what we must know

What must be told is that

There is one who spoke these words

“Whoa to anyone who causes one of these little one of mine to sin it; would be better for him to cast a millstone around his neck and be drug into the depths of the sea.” 

Who would speak this?

Who are the little ones?

Who is being drug into the depths of the sea?

The speaker is Jesus

The little one is me

The little one is you

With our vices or ashes so many so few

The one being drug with the millstone around his neck

Well that is me as well

That is you also

Admit it you are the victim

While at the same time you are the player

And so am I

So what to do

We are the little one who was caused to stumble

 And the one who caused the stumble to come to the little one

This horrible terrible real life truth causes fire in my soul

To think that I’ve been used

And just the same used others as well

The fire in my soul burns strong as hell

Burns long

Disturbs

Grieves

Me deep

The fire burns strong burns long

And then dies

What’s left is a pile of ashes still smoking inside

Then the speaker that said who whoever causes these little ones of mine to fall speaks another phrase that gives hope to the soul

He says

I give crowns of beauty for ashes

Gladness for mourning

Praise for despair

He speaks to the little one

And the one in the sea

He says take my yoke my burden is easy

This trouble this trial

This sin that you’ve caused

Was never my plan

My will

For you

But I make a plan through it all

For my perfect way to shine through

So when the sin happens

When the trial comes

Know it is not from me or above

But I am there in, around, under, and through

All that is happening and my plan is true

To give back the beauty that left ashes burning

To wipe your tears of mourning and bring back your joy

I will tell you the truth of your worth and sing your praise

Where once all you could see was despair and the rain

Where I stand I see all the little ones left crying in the sand

And the one with the rope drug by their own plan

Into the depths of the sea left floating to die

I see it all

I see all

From beginning to end and that is how I can

Be the healer, restorer and one who makes new

All that is abandon

Broken and

Dead

I come to give life

I have a new plan

I Am

My sacrifice

My pain on the cross

Where the sin and hurt all hung

No I did not cause the disaster of the fallen

But I gave you choice and a complete freedom

To do life your way and that left so many tangled webs

 That the only way for you to be complete again

Was for my son to hang

On a cross

Without sin

And for my spirit to the earth be sent

To untangle the sin webs of fallen man

And allow the will of a loving Creator

To be the beauty in the ashes of the little one who stumbled

And the one in the sea completely humbled

So little one wipe the tears from your eyes and stand up

Drowning man I pull you out of the depths to dry off

And there you all stand my creation who chooses to come

Bow at the cross for all that is wrong

The ground is level there

No better no worse

Just complete forgiveness for all and rebirth

And there we will dance on the ground at the foot of the cross

We will dance free in forgiveness

Close your eyes and let freedom ring

The clouds pass over and the terrible misery

Is gone in a moment

He lifts you up high

And you discover yourself on a mountaintop

Sun shining in the sky

And you dance and rejoice as you bask in the Son

Look at the glowing faces of all who have chosen to come

The noose was loosened and removed from our necks

We are no longer the little one stumbling

Our feet are planted firmly on The Rock

We are sealed with a promise

Cannot be snatched from his hand

Know that your name is written in the palm of his hand

But not only there in the Book of Life too

Eternity is waiting

All the promises will come true

Of the things that you just welcomed in your heart from afar

They are not distant

They are becoming

Behold here they are

The treasures stored up

In the place where you kept your heart

What will you receive on that day?

Money

Possession

Fame

And praise

The coming day when all you have done

Is judged

Or will it be rewarded

In the eyes of the Son

The choice is yours my friend

Jesus sets you free

But you still must live and prepare for eternity

The things of this world are fleeting so fast

They will continually tempt you

Test you

And taunt your mind

They will promise falsely and want you to believe they are fine

They will bring

Pleasure

Joy

Fun

For a season

But eventually

Silently so slyly tie the noose back on

And lay pebbles in front of your path

The pebbles may be charming

Petite

Dainty at first

Pleasant for the eye to gaze

All at once in front of you they will become

Boulders

Rocks

Craters

Mountains to climb

Do not be fooled little one look into His eyes

The noose may feel at first life a chain of jewels on your neck

Complimented and prized by so many

But ever so slowly so gradually it will tighten

As the vice in you once more

Tries to enlighten

And hold you away from the Savior who came

But the truth is in you

You must pull away

Do not look at others who are climbing over rocks of their own

Do not compare the noose of your neighbor to your s

Look inside

Look deeply

Search your heart

And kneel down

Surrender to your Savior

Daily

Hourly if you must

He will not turn away from you or look on you with disgust

Tell him right now

How it is

Like it is

He longs for you to come back to the mountain top dance

Come Child

Now

Before the evil one takes an advance

Sanctify

Persevere

Renew

Restore

Redeem

Rescue

Give back what the Locust ate

He is here waiting

Do not delay

The thief comes to steal

Kill

Destroy

Leave you

BARREN
I have come to give you life and to give it to your abundantly

Heaping

FULL

Overflowing

LIFE

ALIVE
LIVE
NO LONGER BARREN

AGAIN

What If

What if there is an ultimate purpose in life?

What if all this inhaling and exhaling day after day, month after month, year after weary year…

What if all this working, building, growing, and aging which ultimately leads to death…

Could actually lead to life?

Everlasting Life?

What if you believed in things you cannot see?

What if there is a choice of forgiveness?

The choice to be forgiven and to forgive?

What if there is that choice?

What if there is someone who created you?

What if he did send his one and only son into the world in ransom for your life?

What if the blood that he shed on the cross covers your sin?  My sin?

What if there is a personal invitation to you from him to have an intimate relationship?

What if the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus?

Would you take the gift?

I mean if it was available?

And you say “Why would a loving God who wants to be a personal friend of mine create people knowing all the hurt, tragedy, and pain they would go through?

Why would a loving God allow people to suffer?  Die?

Why would he allow bad things to happen to good people?

Why would I believe in a God like that?

Why would I want to?

How could that possibly benefit me?

Why when he is so powerful and could stop all of my pain and problems, but stands by watching and allows it to continue? 

Why?

And I’m thinking so true.

We could all do without the pain.

Tragedy.

Hurt

Sorrow.

Way too much pain.

And I say “Why?”

“Why God?”

But…

What if all this pain was not God’s plan.

What if there was a perfect garden?

What if he created man in his image to live and walk with him, in the garden, in the beginning?

And what if since we are created like him and he had the choice to create or not to create us…

Created us with choice?

A choice to walk with him and have perfect, unflawed, and fulfilling relationship with him free and pleasant and perfect in a perfect garden…

And what if he wasn’t forcing man to be there with him in the garden?

What if he was teaching man what was beneficial for his life and the things he needed for life to the fullest?

And what if the decision to follow or turn away was not God’s but man’s?

And what if man in his free choice, free will, began the destruction process on his own?

What if the hurt, pain, grief, sickness, sorrow, tragedy, trauma, destruction of life was something we brought on ourselves?

And what if it completely wasn’t us alone?

What if there was an enemy? 

There always seems to be an enemy.

What if there was a bad guy?

A bully?

A villain?

A darkside?

What if even though we don’t choose to naturally follow our creator with our whole heart we aren’t the evil one?

What if there is an ultimate battle being fought for our lives?

What if there is a good and prosperous plan for our lives?

And what if there is a plan for the destruction of our life?

What if…..

What if there is more than meets the eye?

What if we only see a small portion of the big picture?

What if life is a journey?

And what if you walking down life’s path come to a fork in the road?

What if you do have a choice to make?

A choice of love or hate…

Belief or unbelief…

Faith or human thinking…

Forgiveness or bitterness…

Peace or anger…

Surrender to a higher power or self…

Change or comfort…

Stepping out or staying put…

Victory or defeat…

A choice of blessing or curses…

A choice of a Savior or Satan…

And ultimately a choice of life or death.

And what if even though in our small human mind it doesn’t make sense…

We choose life.

A different life.

An eternal life.

And what if in that choice we found a man named Jesus who took our place?

What if this man named Jesus was like a bridge between the broken relationship between humans and God?

And what if he saw the decision and the nature of man turning on God…

He saw the consequences it caused…

Hurt

Grief

Brokenness

Sorrow

Anger

Defeat

Pain

Sadness

Fear

And what if he knew that the enemy would come to those helpless humans, us, and

Trick

Divide

Divorce

Lie

Cheat

Addict

Threaten

Murder

Coheres

Perverse

Mankind?

And what if in seeing all this he chose to come for us?

What if God came to earth as a man with human skin on for us?

What if he came for us in the pain?

What if there is a plan B for our fragmented fallen lives?

What if a Savior called Jesus came for you?

Because the world has caused you trouble…

And you’ve caused yourself trouble…

And there is an enemy battling for your soul and your destruction…

 What if Jesus stepped down from heaven and into earth?

Was born

Lived

Lived as a man

Lived and walked the earth as a man

Lived and walked the earth as a man feeling all things humans feel and experiencing all thing humans experience

But with one difference

He was perfect

He overcame sin

He walked, lived, felt, and experienced life

And remained perfect

What if he did this all along knowing he had to die?

What if his death was immanent in order to give humankind a way out of the worldly, human, and satanic way of living?

What if he knew all along and came anyway?

What if he not only came and lived perfectly in a corrupted world but…

What if he died?

What if he was beaten horrifically until he was unrecognizable?

What if the blood loss he endured that day was off the charts medically?

What if he was teasingingly mocked and inhumanly spit on?

What if iron spikes were pounded into his hands on either side?

What if his feet were placed one on top of the other and another iron spike was driven into them as well?

What if someone took the time to shape a crown of thorns together into a circular headpiece and pushed the prickly points into his skull mockingly as a crown?

What if they spit at him, mocked him, took his clothes and auctioned them off as a joke, and then posted a sign over his bleeding and mangled body that read “King of the Jews?”

What if during this entire horrifying and graphic nightmare you were on his mind?

What if the blood that flowed from him that day covers your sin?

What if there is that kind of love?

What if there is that kind of selfless sacrifice?

What if there is a way that we never dreamed could be?

What if what he did that day on the cross was for you?

Was for me?

What if he loved the whole world from beginning to end all people who have ever of will ever live on this planet so much that he gave his son like that for us?

For us all.

And what if as if his perfect life example, pure shed blood, and sacrificial death taking our place was not enough…

What if he defeated the enemy?

What if he stole the keys to death from Hades?

What if he traveled to the pit of hell and made an unexpected visit to the dark side, avenged his people, and demanded the enemy hand the death keys over?

What if he did that?

And what if he didn’t stay dead?

What if he overcame death?

What if he came back to life?

What if there is more?

What if he came back to say it is finished and now I am going away to prepare a place for you, a place like the garden we once shared?

I’m going away to make paradise for you.

Because in the bible it does say that.

There have been prophets, gods, leaders, good people, that people have followed …

Through cultures…

Through generations…

Through history…

They died.

But Jesus was different.

He came back to life.

And gave a continuing promise of eternal life.

And his eventual return to earth one day.

But what if after all that he still didn’t force himself on us?

What if we still had a choice?

A choice to choose Jesus or not?

What if his plan for you is to be saved by his loving grace?

But what if that decision is yours?

What if in one way or another we all while we live and breathe on this planet have a most important choice to make?

Amongst all the inhaling and exhaling, day after day, year after year, while working and slaving, building, growing, and aging we have a choice to make?

What if you were going to die today?

What if the inhaling and exhaling inside your lungs would all come to an end in the next 24 hours?

Would the priority of the choice change?

Would the relevance of the choice become clear?

Would a decision be top priority?

Would your fork in the road lifestyle lead to an obvious choice of path preference?

What if the choice affects everything?

What if the decision changes everything?

What if everything in your life desperately needs to be changed?

What if you are desperate for change?

What if you dare to step in faith and believe there is more?

What if this is the most important decision you will ever make?

What if it were?

What would you choose?

Untitled Revelation

For the past three weeks God has been taking me on a journey...well we've been on a journey for about 36 years, but going a little deeper.  I have been pursuing this battle that I have with food which I have found to be a constant fight throughout my life since I can remember.  From the twelve year old chubby adolescent whose body was changing and forming so rapidly, to a highschooler struggling with anorexia and bulimia, to a married woman ashamed of her imperfections, to a mom who always needed to lose that extra 10 pounds.  Now at thirty six years old I am not asking why do I struggle with a stupid thing like this..But why does it rule over me.  It's no longer all about my looks (although it plays a part) its about if God is who I believe him to be in my life, if Jesus overcame sin and death, and if the Holy Spirit lives in me to help and guide me into Truth, why do I worship, adore, and desire food so much.  This question dug me deep into my heart and soul; into my past.  This question dug me deep into God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  This question dug me deep into the word of God.  Here is what I found.  I found that I had many characteristics of a lukewarm "Christian."  Sure I believe in Jesus, I go to church, I pray, I try to do good most of the time, I read my bible, I have the hope of heaven where my tears will be wiped away and there will be not more hurt sadness, or sickness, I have fellowship with other people who believe, I give as long as it doesn't hurt or cramp my lifestyle...but what I found is that I did not have a repentant heart.  Yes I became a Christ follower and was Saved by praying to ask Jesus Christ to come in and forgive my sins on July 1, 1990 through a conversion experience.  And since that time I have grown, had ups and downs and thirteen years later I believe I began to learn the Holy Spirits role in my life and began to allow the Spirit which had been available to me since my point of conversion but had not tapped into the power of being filled with the Holy Spirit to understand Scripture etc.  The thing I am learning now is that I am still a sinner I am a wretched sinful human.  I am selfish, self protecting, untrusting, I gossip, I lust after food and other things, I hide, I have pride, I judge others, I sometimes go through the motions with God. I have the sin of perfectionism, people pleasing and pretending, I get angry and really stupid reactions come out of my mouth, I am ashamed, I forget God, I look for the praise of men.  I am a sinner.  At my core.  Even my most excellent attempts at "finding myself"  is disgusting.  Even my kindest efforts of love and giving without God is a filthy rag which in the bible relates to a used menstrual cloth.  My best efforts are like a used tampon to God.  That is my state.  Yet I believe in Jesus and he has saved me.  So now what will I do with this dilemma?  I want to be like Jesus but I can't. I am human, flawed and sinful.  I want to live out the scriptures and deny myself take up my cross and follow him but I am weak and my cross is so heavy, I want to forget my Father's house and my Mother's house and run into whatever Jesus has but my humanness attaches me to comfortable tangible relations over Christ, I want to Go and make disciples of all nations but I have a job, and a to do list and a routine, an alarm clock, I want to sell everything I have and give it to the poor but that doesn't make sense because then I will be the poor and who will give to me?  This has been a very conflicting and at points almost defeating time for me.  I am truly seeing who I am as a sinful human and at the same time seeing who God is as the Holiest of Hollies and Jesus as True Perfection who I am supposed to be like but continually miss the mark.  

Last week an interesting situation came up as I am thinking about my wretchedness, my greed, my obsession with food, and my lack of giving to the poor, the hungry, the least of these...A little boy comes into my restaurant and we begin having conversation.  I can tell as we are visiting that he is a mischievous guy and full of great imagination so I take a lot of his words with a grain of salt.  Somehow our conversation leads to him saying I am having Doritos for dinner tonight!  I say what else are you having with your Doritos?  He  says nothing we never eat dinner.  What? I say are you telling me the truth? He says yes .  My boys are intently watching me and are in unbelief that someone would not have food at their house.  I don't know if this little boy was telling the truth or not but at that point I had an opportunity to help, to give...so I gave and sent him out the door with a sackful of food.  My boys began to ask me questions about the situation.  I finally said whether he was telling the truth or not does not matter but I do not want to go to bed tonight knowing there could be a hungry boy out there that I could have helped.  And as those words came out of my mouth and began to process through my mind I felt true disgust at myself.  I wasn't giving that boy food to be Jesus and share the love of God I was giving that boy food so I could sleep tonight! Yuck, just typing those words makes it more real and I have just about had it up to here with me!  But then that true and Perfect Love, my Jesus, who is such a gentleman steps in as I am about to beat myself up for the countless numbered time.  And it is revealed, my motives.  My motives are wrong and I am incapable of doing any good,even on a minuscule level.  The missing link is the repenting my sin and allowing the Holy Spirit to give me a desire for Jesus.  I cannot love without God, I cannot love God without God!  WOW!  Maybe to someone who is reading this it's like duh how come it took you this long?  But, I for the first time, began to truly get it. Even though I have been a saved Christian for 20 years cannot do one good thing with out my Savior Jesus Christ spilling his love into me.  How is this done?  By loving Jesus.  Like being crazy in love with what he did on the Cross and the awesomeness of who he is. I really have no adequate words for the power of touching on getting this.  It changes everything.  All my continual attempts to be changing into being like Jesus that have always failed are now quite understandable.  How can I be like Jesus without Jesus.  In the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan (an incredible MUST READ!!!!!!) he drives the reader to this very thing.  He asks as a "Christian"  are we ok with the "gifts" of hope, peace, joy, and the promise of heaven and living our "Christian " lifestyle where we are ok compared to the rest of the secular world? Are those "gifts that we "get" with being saved enough, or do we have a unending deep desire to continually press into and fall into deep love with Jesus for who he is.  He poses the question would we be ok to know that we will go to heaven and have all of our tears wiped away, complete and sheer joy, happiness, pleasure, be made perfect, while being with all those we love who are also perfect, no more night, sickness, grief, no more problems but without Jesus?  Or are we anticipating and craving heaven so much because we will be with Jesus?  Think about it! Where is your heart?  Is it on food (whatever your weakness, stronghold, adiction may be), your to do list, the next thing, worshipping your children, money, or is it just on Jesus.  I know as a lover of Jesus I need to swim deep into the power of the Holy Spirit and allow His Living Water to fill me with Love, His love that is perfect, that doesn't adore food like I do, that doesn't compare me to everyone else, that does unconditionally love everyone from my favorite people to the unlovable, that does love me and views me as the perfected bride of Christ and as this love is poured in the serving is natural, the giving comes, my Food Idle shrinks, and it spills. Naturally I deny myself ,take up my cross and follow, this act of allowing the spirit to fill- allowing a deep love for Jesus to grow in me allows me to follow him without hesitation of turning back.  There must be a continual filling I must spend time with my soul lover Jesus in order to be able to love others give, and see the least of these as important and worth pursuing, I must remember that apart from Him I Can do Nothing and with Him all things are possible.  When we spend time still before our God and spilling our hearts deepest cry to him we find that His love is soooo Good!!!  We want more, not more food but more love, the love that keeps giving as we see his creative show each night while the sunsets behind the harvested fields, the complete miracle of our child's voice, the sheer beauty of his love as our soul connects with another soul that loves him and we say Yes he is so good, the sweet love that we can savor when a heart turns from death to life in confessing Christ as Savior for the first time, we find that the life we tried to make for ourselves was not life at all and the life that he gives is more that we could ever imagine.  We learn to trust his love and know that the enemy came to seek, and kill, and destroy, but Jesus came -in love- to give us life to the fullest.  We learn to give without questioning and with great Joy because He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and if I who am in my humanness evil know whow to give good gifts to my children how much more will my Father in Heaven give to me.  We learn to savor, trust, commune, yearn, and ache for his love. His love only produces more love. Its never ending - the greatest thing is love and love is God and to love God I need God so that he, through me can create a love relationship which will allow me to love others....LOVE< LOVE< LOVE< LOVE< LOVE=It's all about Love!