If you Want to Walk on Water You have to get out of the Boat

If you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat

So the saying goes, and so true!  But I want to preview something.  How did we get in the boat in the first place? Where did our life boat come from?  You see because sometimes that is even the bigger step actually getting on the boat and getting out on the water. 

Earlier this year my husband and I were on our honeymoon in Maui.  If you’ve never visited I’m not sure there are accurate words to the breathtaking beauty of this place in creation.  Lush tropical greenery, unending palm trees, crystal clear waters, sunshine with little interruption, the vast ocean view with humpback whales unanticipated bursts beautifully interrupting the water meeting sky line ….

 I had to pinch myself at the backdrop landscapes of beauty I lived in during our stay.  We planned several tours to soak in as much of the Maui life as we possibly could. We enjoyed a tour of snorkeling in the ocean, trekked up an inactive volcano to take in the sun rise and proceeded to ride bikes the 10,000 foot decent to the bottom, attended an authentic Hawaiian luau with dancing, and vast amounts of traditional Hawaiian foods.  All of these activities were new adventures to me and each one I enjoyed immensely even down to the snorkel in cold waters.  I had worked hard in the weeks that preceded our trip to take on a mentality of “just say YES!” Or as the famous slogan in our time, from one of our favorite athletic sole fitters goes, “Just do it!” I had trained myself in my thought process to this new philosophy in all of our free spirited activities while celebrating the bliss and love of our new marriage.  I had prepared mentally to be able to let go and enjoy the blessing that awaited me in Maui, every activity except one.  My husband had politely and randomly mentioned in many of our conversations throughout the week that he would really like to take me out on a kayak in the ocean….RED FLAG! YIKES! FEAR!! With my “Just DON’T do it” instinct overriding my previous weeks training of stand up and make a change thinking….

To some reading, this you are saying of course, why not, who wouldn’t say YES?  But those of you who might have a little more of my natural tendency to play it safe will understand what I am about to share.  You see I grew up to believe that you should play it safe, stay in your borders, don’t go outside of the box, a big day of traveling was heading to the city of Fort Dodge about 20 minutes away and an oh my goodness day would be the one hour road trip to Des Moines.

I recall a very specific incident in my childhood that blatantly stamped the “play it safe” mentality into my belief system.  One long lazy summer afternoon, our family stopped by a family member’s campsite for a visit.  They had a boat, WOW!  and asked my parents if my sister and I could take a ride in it.   My parents said they really didn’t feel it was safe and acted in worry and fear as to what the possible outcomes would be if my little elementary frame were to sit in the water pelting speed demon.  Some how or another I was finally able to take a “short, slow” ride. Seated in the boat with my life jacket attached so tightly to my torso, breathing was acknowledged at every inhale and exhale while obeying strict instruction to white knuckle the hand rails of the boat .  (There may have even been a piece of Velcro attached to the bottom of my shorts and the seat for added precautionary protection!)  We departed slowly from the dock.  What could have been a leisure day filled with laughter and fun in the sun became a frightful event to me.  I thought I would meet Jesus that afternoon under the hot Iowa sunshine.  Needless to say here I am today!  I survived the ride. Please hear me; I am not saying that a simple life is bad. Nor should we neglect to teach and train our children about dangers and risks of situations.  I am not advocating that it is unnecessary to take safety precautions and use the brains that we have been given to apply common sense.  What I am saying is, that day, which is one of many, taught me to live in the “Play it safe,” and remain on the shore lifestyle.  It engrained in me a thought pattern in life in which I did just that for so many situations.  In my head I would have big dreams and goals, many stand up moments,  plans to conquer fear and live out loud, but the “play it safe,” hold on tight, stay put, and don’t do it mentality stopped me in my grandiose idea tracks.  So there I sat on the shore of life living each day but not truly experiencing it to its full potential.  I sat on my beach towel back from the water, watching from the shore while so many jumped in their life boats and set sail to purposeful living. 

On my most daring occasions I would carefully stand up and cautiously walk towards the water and dip a toe into the cascading waves.  On a truly courageous instant I might walk just to the edge of the shore line allowing my ankles to feel the cool water coming in and out of life’s moments.  But mostly I would sit perfectly dressed, unflawed make up, smile in place, as life went by day after day.  I was physically present.  I was busy.  I was accomplishing. I was in attendance but not truly experiencing life in the joys or sorrows of my plotted out days. 

Maybe through maturity, maybe through watching others or maybe just an inner rebellion I began to question and wrestle with the day in day out “Play it safe” rule that guarded me.  One day with unpredictable circumstance I was forced to jump into my life boat.  It was more of a survival attempt as the big tsunami wave of grief over took my stay on the beach life and engulfed the safe shore I had lived on for so long.  The wave swept me swiftly and without warning off the shore. I went afloat coughing and choking into the deep sea ready to be forgotten forever in the endless s ocean of sorrow and trauma.  But wait! There was an empty boat no one had claimed floating along. Without thought of “Play it safe” or any of the nameless fear and worry tactics which normally reared their head into my thought process, causing me to believe I only  had the option to remain weak and helpless, I swam out to the empty floating boat and in desperation grabbed its side.  I pulled my shivering, dripping, exhausted body up unto its’ edge and hoisted myself in.  Unsure of passing time I remained in the boat, lifeless but alive.  Lying down hidden in a place I never expected to be, I finally gained the gumption and peeked just over the edge of the boat to gain my bearings.  In view were many boats, of all varieties and styles some populated some floating aimlessly on the water.   I saw where the comfy spot on the beach which had been my consistent residence had been and gazed with an ache, yearning for the previous comforts of the past.  The hot penetrating rays of the sun soaked into my skin as I sat in my boat off the shore and in the water…… hidden from the world and a refugee from the safe life I once knew.   Many lessons were learned as I lay back down in my life boat.  It was my hidden season, a time where the play it safe rule could no longer apply.  What a blessing in disguise that was. Although unknown at the time, sometimes a complete broken state is the best place for one to be and remain for a time.  Lies which had governed my life for so long were literally shriveled up by the truth of the Lord Jesus who hid me under the shadow of his wing in my life boat.  I began to think new thoughts and believe new truths. Ideas that once only seemed to apply to the rest of the world were being entertained in my own mind.  My life boat became not a fearful spot but a refuge for this refugee in her own life. I learned to steer my course and enjoy the waters beneath. ..

Where three years later I found myself in a literal life choice to get in a kayak without a trained leader and venture into the ocean with my husband who is by the way, one of life’s “Just do it,” representatives.  He has owned a boat for many years.  He immensely enjoys a weekend of water skiing, knee boarding, and tubing while his daring buddy speeds through the waters hoping to flip him off.  The hopes of a duo kayaking ride with no guide and no itinerary heading into the ocean, the seemingly endless ocean to him, was a truly exhilarating thought.  Of course my natural instinctive reaction was NO! I’m scared!  You go I’ll stay on the shore and watch.   I can have a just say yes attitude, but I have been quite a sport this week and every girl has her limits right?

I had made a promise to myself and boy were me, myself, and I having quite the inner battle at that moment!  Reluctantly but bravely I formed the truest “Ok,” but this will prove how much I love you response. 

Our last morning before boarding the plane back to Iowa we got dressed and headed out to the beach.  We walked along until we found the cabana with the dark skinned man peddling his beach ware.  We spoke with him about renting a kayak.  He looked intensely out on the vast waters as he surveyed the white capped waves and gave the ocean a chilling questionable glare. He turned to us and explained that their was a wind picking up so we only had one hour, the only hour that he would be renting Kayaks that day, it would soon become too dangerous to venture out.  What a comforting thought to my already quivering soul!  But onward I pressed into the fear that I was determined to conquer while also honoring my husband’s wishes. 

With the help of the beach peddling man we maneuvered the golden pointy beast into the ocean waters.  I’m not sure which I was working harder at that point in time, keeping the fake smile plastered to my face to hide my about to explode fear, or consciously slowing my breath so I wouldn’t hyperventilate?  Either way I cannot recall the first moments of drifting in and out with the waves deeper and deeper into the oceans‘s hold.  Soon I processed enough fear to be able to have a rational thought and concluded that I might as well enjoy this because they were probably my final moments anyhow! I chose to do the unthinkable to a safety girl lifestyle and glanced over the edge of the kayak!  (Instantly breathless but for a different reason)  My eyes gazed down at the cavernous crystal clear depths in awe.   The view of beauty swept my fear away and I was able to relax a bit and smile a real smile with my husband, enjoying yet another gift on this trip from God’s amazing creation! 

We battled a bit about how far we should actually go, my husband wanting to venture towards the cruise ships in the distance and I in my most dramatic high maintenance princess squeal advocating for my inner ,I have my limits perspective, “No that’s too far we’ll be lost at sea!”  We found a mutually agreeable spot, where we drifted awhile, enjoying the water beneath us and the rich rays of sun over top.  I was feeling the Love of God immensely as we continued to enjoy our kayaking experience and take it all in.  I confessed to my husband how glad I was that he “Highly encouraged me” to try it. He stated how proud he was of me for being there.  In our conversation one of us mentioned how awesome it would be to see a whale jump before we headed back to shore.  Without hesitation I turned my face up into the sun filled heavens and belted out “It sure would be nice if we could see a whale jump!”  The very next moment not too far into the ocean line a magnificent hump-back whale burst its’ enormous being out of the water, into the air and disappeared quickly back into the ocean.  We smiled, laughed, and praised God together as he heaped His blessing on us. My heart overflowed with thankfulness for the lesson I learned in trust to live outside the safety zone of the play it safe life God taught me that day in the waters of Maui.   A small mustard seed of faith act on my part produced grace filled blessing, fulfilled hearts,  heaven scent gifts, a great story to tell , a memory that I will cherish the rest of my life, and I have to believe a smile on God’s face as well!

I haven’t walked on water yet …but my life is not over!  I have learned that getting in the boat is most of the battle.  There is a life boat with your name written on the side reserved for your journey of life.  You creator has a plotted course which is saved for you alone. Will you dare yourself to get in?

Maybe you will land in surprisingly by a shock of tragedy in an attempt to not drown in life’s most tragic situations, perhaps by a choice to take swim in the deep, or maybe you’ve been given the rare honor of specific teaching in stages to learn the proper swimming strokes to safely reach your life boat destination and already know which boat belongs to you in the glistening waters.  Either way it is to each of our advantage to live life in the boat and get off the shore!  We will then be in a position to walk on water!