Let's Talk About Sex

 Hopefully that got your attention…

With the events happening in our state recently, with two precious girls being abducted in Dayton, Iowa and the opening of a “theatrical arts club”; The Loft in Corwith, Iowa 8 weeks ago (named theatrical arts so you don’t have to keep any clothes on while stripping for patrons)where women are being trafficked in from Minneapolis and then stripping most of the night and being prostituted out in hotels the remainder of the night, we are all waking up to the fact that this is not just happening in the cities; New York, Chicago, San Diego etc…This is a time for a shift in our thinking Iowa. (And anyone out there reading)

 I never really understood why in the bible it states often “flee from sexual immorality “the bible states “to make a covenant with God with your eyes for guys to not look lustfully at a woman”…I used to think it was just another of the don’ts on the list one of which I have not always done.  I have been enlightened to my naive thinking…It begins with one look, and then another, one act and then another…and when given into its full forge turns into hideous twisted and perverseness like we are seeing in our communities…People are not born having this monstrous behavior of hideousness only the capability. All of us are born with the capability of doing evil and we all have done it. It’s called sin. When fully indulged in this nature with hardened hearts to God’s love it gets ugly; that ugly. What can we do about this?

Surrender. We are incapable of become good enough human beings, let’s face it we have all fallen short in the area of sexual purity, I know I have.  And God didn’t say flee from it so you never have sex, God created sex he wants us to enjoy it under the right conditions of a committed marriage.  When we use sexuality and or bodies in a loose matter is when the lights begin to go out.

 Not all at once.  For guys it can be one look at a girl with little clothes on and then another on TV, Facebook, then a little porn, then a little more, then when given fully over adultery, a night at the club, and then a paid night and soon you’re hooked. The perverseness goes to these hideous places of rape, sexual abuse to others, human trafficking and abductions. 

For women it’s a little romance novel, a little fantasy in the mind a little thought about him and before you know it your making slightly flirtatious conversation with him,  meeting with him and then your living in the gray and life is torn in two. It’s giving our self away, thinking we are going to get love and only getting used time after time. It desensitizes us and soon we are the victims of sexual abuse, rape, or worse (sometimes we are the victims when have never been exposed or let our guard down). Statics state one in three women are victims of sexual abuse…

We must surrender to something greater than our self.  To Jesus, who came because he saw what the evilness of sin in humans would do to each of us preciously created in his image. He died for the hideousness that is happening to Kathlynn Shepard and the girls who will dance tomorrow night at The Loft, and the guys who will throw money at them.  He died for me when I dishonored my marriage vows, He died for you.  But he didn’t stay dead he came back to life. And said believe in me I have overcome the world. This dark world of lies, cheating, abuse, neglect, hurt, death, and perverseness…There is a different way.  You don’t have to die in your sin. That is our only out… to call on the name of Jesus and believe in the gift he gave of his life once and for all for payment of every man’s sin.

And then to turn from sin and allow his redeeming love to purify you over the course of the rest of your life. Flee from sexual immorality and live a life of sexual purity having sex and enjoying it the right way.

Ladies…. Do not cause guys in our community to stumble. Stop posting pics of yourself or others that could harm someone struggling. Men are visual they don’t need any help in this area. Honor yourself and the men that you care for by dressing cute and trendy, but appropriately.

Men make a covenant to God with your eyes and ask other men around you for help. Admit if you are struggling with pornography to another trusted true and honest friend, you are not a monster but you are traveling down a road that only leads to the destruction of yourself, the destruction of a healthy sex life, and the destruction of those you love.

Teach your kids to honor their bodies and talk about sex, the right way to have sex...talk about why it’s so important all the time there is a static that boys are beginning to use pornography around the age of 9-10 for the first time and becoming addicted by age 13-14 talk to your boys…A comment one of my boys made when talking about this after talking about why it was necessary to turn off the halftime show during the Super Bowl, “Mom it’s so hard it’s everywhere we go.” This is a battle our sons have to fight everyday they need our prayers, our teaching, our transparent honesty, and our example.

My oldest son called me a couple of nights ago and said., “Mom I know you told us to wait to have sex until we are married and that’s how God made it but you didn’t talk a lot about why we should wait.  I want to talk about these things with you, you need to talk about these things to my brothers. I want to have conversations about this.” He’s 20. He finally said out loud what all children yearn for, (even if they roll their eyes and sigh and it’s awkward)…they want us (not TV, their friends, the internet, or the schools) but us to talk about this with them.

 Moms talk to your sons. You alone have the ability to speak life and truth into their beings, call them out as honorable men, worthy of God’s love and yours, be proud when they do good and obey, encourage, and cheer them on with your words and actions, challenge them and do not settle for mediocrity in your sons; they were made for greatness. They have adventurous spirits and hearts for physical force and battle, challenge them to stop battling virtual battles with their thumbs on a screen and show them what a true battle is…go search for the missing girl, pray for the family as a family out loud, take bug spray to the rescue site, donate money that you would use for yourselves, or find a cause that would interest your son’s heart and show him how to fight the darkness in this world. Trust me on this one seeing your teenage son’s loving on orphans, feeding the hungry, giving to your neighbor will bless you and them over any entertainment you could provide for your family (still go out and enjoy life :)) Be the kind of woman you want him to choose to spend the rest of his life with, so he will have an example to be able to choose well. Repent to your sons your wrong ways of being an example. Be respectful of their father whether you are married to him or not, yeah even if when it’s hard.

Dads dance with your little girls twirl them around, tell them every day of their inner and outer beauty specifically, they need your words of affirmation or they will find it from another, they need the strong protection of your warrior heart love for them or they will search it out in another, they need you to be the example of the man you want to give them to when they become women. They need you to romantically love their mother and honor her. If you are not married to their mother they need you to show honor, sacrificial love to her anyway…yeah bite your tongue until it bleeds and turn the other cheek when necessary, vent to your grown up buddies your frustration but show her honoring love. If you have blown it, it’s not too late, confess tell your girl you’re sorry and start today.

Confess your sexual immorality to the Lord, he forgives, he will not hold it against you. Go through a deep season of healing if the wounds and the addiction runs deep, do the hard thing and flee, turn and keep in turning…Allow the illuminating light of Jesus Christ to shine in your dark places…and then take what was once darkness and is now light to someone who does not yet have it…what will our world, our state, our town, our home look like when we each personally take a stand of surrender and choose this?

(If this has moved you in some way private message me on Facebook would love to hear your heart, and connect, or connect you to resources of healing and transformation, training your kids etc….)

Pardon Me Boys....

My oldest son called me recently saying, “Mom I had the worst dream. It was about you.  I don’t even want to say it.”  My reaction was “Out with it son!”  He proceeded say was stating his case with me on why violence isn’t always bad.  In the dream he said, “If someone came to our house to harm my brothers, I would do whatever it took to protect them.” As he was talking he eventually realized that I had left the room; no longer listening. He went outside to find me, yet I continued to be shut down in listening to his point.  As frustration overtook him he ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and worked to regain his composure.  Eventually he came out; stood at the chair I was now sitting in, and passionately attempted to persuade me to listen. With his best effort failing to my unlistening ears, I stood up and in a loud whisper, nose to nose said to him, “SHHHH you’re going to wake the baby!”

I usually don’t give much thought to dreams. Not a big believer that they are a message or have underlying meaning, but this one’s timing and content was clearly striking a cord on many levels.  Some of it was personal that my son and I discussed and worked through.  At the time I thought that was it. But as I continued to pray and think over the next few days, the Lord began to speak to me on a larger level.

I hate violence.  Duck to confrontation at all costs. Despise shooting games.  Am repulsed at most movies and TV shows because of the violence, fighting, shooting…. I detest disorder and disagreements.

From the time my boys were little I have struggled to even play with them.  I would sit down to “play” dinosaurs. My son would begin attacking my dinosaur, make loud roaring sounds and knock my dinosaur straight to the ground with great joy.  I would panic inside thinking “How have I failed so miserably as a mother?” Immediately in a super cheery voice, I would coax my son to have all the dinosaurs “be friends.”  “Let’s give them nice names. “ (Names that you might give to the family pet, I.E. Lucky, Max, Cupcake.)  I would turn playing into a math game and give instructions to sort the dinosaurs only to have the little groups of dinosaurs get mutilated once again by the ferocious T-Rex.  I would say, “Let’s line all the dinosaurs up and count them!” This took a while (there were a lot) so it bought me some serious moments of calm and order in our play. Yet, when the dinosaurs were all lined up at attention, you guessed it; each innocent dinosaur became annihilated by the almighty T-Rex.  I eventually gave up playing dinosaurs with my first born.

 When my second son came along it was cars.  He could figure unlimited scenarios to crash matchbox cars. Off his bunk bed, from the top of the banister, running off the deck, or crashing into each other. Each premeditated crash gave him a shrill of elation and joy.  Where was I going wrong?  Can’t the cars just be friends? For crying out loud there are innocent people in these cars.  Be a safe driver.  Buckle up.  Obey the rules.  Drive safely. Each attempt of mentoring my middle son to play nice with the cars ended in an epic fail.  Eventually I stopped trying to play cars; the barrier was too much, I could not figure out this twisted form of play.

This was not the end; my third son was born with the same condition.   All day long he would talk about horses, play with horses, or pretend to be a horse.  I was beginning to see the pattern, although not quite as violent and barbaric as the previous two males I bore, the horses constantly raced with conquering and wild passion to beat the other weaker horses, and yes no matter what I did to have mannerly horses in my home, they fought, they bucked, they whinnied in anger at the other horses trying to conquer one another day in and day out on the floor of my living room. 

Fast forward, I am now the parent of young adult, teenage, and preteen boys.  This violent passion to conquer, defeat, and battle, no matter how forceful and insistent I have been to domesticate them is still alive and very well. Now they get their adrenaline rush by racing four wheelers, doing stunts off the back of a boat, or speeding through drifts of snow on a snowmobile. Entertainment is a movie or show on TV where their eyes view constant action, destruction, demolition.  I cannot contain this devoted passion to fight and battle within my sons.  They wrestle each other, challenge one another, and flex their muscles in front of one another.  I am beginning to understand why.

There is a battle happening.

In our world violence is everywhere.  One cannot have a TV on and not see something or someone getting blown up, shot at, stalked, chased etc… The games that are available in our society are horrifically violent , needing to have a rating system due to their “mature” content.  But just like my son’s dream, I am now seeing that violence is not always bad.

Did you here that boys?

So pardon me boys for trying to domesticate you.  I was wrong.  Still, I cannot stand for you continually and habitually using the majority of your time and brain on a mindless games spending hours on end trying to win an epic battle on a screen with your thumbs.  I have to answer for each minute as a parent I allow you to sit on a comfortable couch while watching someone else in a pretend scenario conquer virtual evil through violent acts that Hollywood creates which reaps millions for them and gains nothing.  I will continue a zero tolerance policy for bullying anyone in our home or otherwise.  But go ahead and fight.  Get off the couch, put down the controller, stop targeting your brother and let’s zone in on the real battle.

Ephesians 6…says it better than I ever could…

“We are not waging war against enemies of flesh and blood alone.  No, this fight is against tyrants, against authorities, against the supernatural powers and demon princes that slither in the darkness of this world, and against wicked spiritual armies in the heavenly places.”

There is a battle going on.  And you as men were designed to fight in it.  Not with your thumbs, or in front of a screen, and not with your brother.  You were designed to fight with armor. The Armor of God protecting your heart, soul, mind, and all your strength as you live this life and conquer the darkness.  There is a battle here and now and I charge you to stand up and fight. 

You don’t have to play nice, be friends, or display manners when you fight this battle.  You can be barbaric, passionate, and relentless. Your battle is against the sin, and darkness of the fall, satanic forces trying to destroy God’s light in you and around you and to stop it from spreading to those who have not yet found the life changing message of Jesus Christ.

So my sons be violent, vigilant, daring, and relentless.  Zone in on your purpose.  You were made for more.  More than a virtual battle.  You were made to fight the battle here and now on your feet or on your knees; with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength.  Love Jesus and allow his son ship to flow into, around, and over you.  Believe He is for you and no one can be against you.  Boys you are on the side of victory. Fear nothing except an honor fear of a Holy God who is your full authority.  This life will become so much more as you arise and fight.

I see the passion in you, the sensitivity, the soul desires. I see the servant hood and selflessness in you the honoring of others especially women and children as you, like a fine warrior, love the poor, orphan and widow, honor  women as the beauty and treasure that they are to men on planet earth.  Use your intellect, your mind and understand. Fight with your wisdom and insight to defend the gospel message of your Lord Jesus, who not only rescued, but equips you with memory and insight and understanding.

You were made for this. As a mother I must instruct you. Do not fight unprepared.  Get ready. 

Go out with your swords, the sword of the spirit. Take the mighty word of God, pointed straight out in front of you as you run into the darkness, the corrupt, broken, chained, forgotten, and violent. 

Put on the helmet of salvation.  Allow your mind to be infiltrated with his truth about who you are; mighty man of God, no longer bowing to lies.  You were bought at a price; you are a free man by his blood and through his sacrifice. Yu are whole, healed, completely loved and deemed worthy just as you are.  Walk bravely forward. Do not cower in a corner expecting to someone else to go.

Put on the breast plate of righteousness. Become pure as you die to yourself, and the dripping temptations of the world.  That is not what you were made for. You were made to be sanctified; regenerated into the likeness of Jesus as you seek out his righteousness. This looks weak to the world. The world is lying to you. This is where you become strong. Shield your eyes my son from the soft porn that drips in front of wherever your eyes turn. Make a covenant with God to save your eyes and your body for the wife he has designed and prepared for you and then enjoy and indulge freely.

Go on this upward hill and look evil straight in the eyes. But first buckle around your waist the belt of truth.  This truth shines light on lies. Lies in you.  Lies that you will unveil in others.  Know that truth will completely set you free.  Jesus is truth and when you are free in Jesus you are free indeed.

Be intense.  Be intentional.  Do whatever it takes. Go wherever you must for the sake of His call on your life. But first my son, grab your shield of faith.  This battle will get long and you will become weary.  You will feel as if you are defeated at times,  there will be so many questions, there will be fiery darts from the side of evil continually shot at you to try and get you to surrender.  But you take up your shield of faith.  That we are sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Take up your shield and claim the faith as people are won by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony.

Go out my son and run valiantly into the darkness rescue women, orphans, the sick, the poor, the abused, the addicted, the unloved, the ones who have been tricked by the world. But don’t’ forget your shoes the shoes of peace which will protect you from becoming bitter, needlessly mad, and discontented.  The peace, His peace that surpasses understanding will guard your heart and your soul as you fulfill the kingdom agenda he has set before you.

And yes boys there is a winner.  Jesus has overcome.  We are on the side of victory.  You will defeat Satan. You will come to victory in heaven one day.  Where you will see fully what you can only see dimly now.  You will see the hungry feast at his table, you will witness him wipe away every tear, even your own. You will see death be swallowed up with life, His life. You will see no more night. No more darkness; the light of the Lamb will be our everlasting light. You will see Satan, his cheap and pitiful demons and those who unfortunately choose not to believe bow in regret and confess Jesus as Lord and forever separated from perfection and lasting life in heaven.  You will see the poor become rich as they come home to the mansions Jesus is preparing for his church right now.  You will see those who feel ugly, and unloved and unworthy be made into the beautiful bride of Christ pure and spotless as he returns for her.  You will see all of your fighting efforts come full circle. Son fight. 

Fight with the power of the Spirit, the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, in you. Fight and do not relent.  Even if you are the only one, even if you feel you are gaining no territory fight. The word says if you do not give up you will reap a harvest.  Fight and be the warrior you were created to be.  I will train you and then step out of the way and cheer for you from my princess heart.

Family Fights

There are so many books out there, numerous organizations and tons of information....outreach, missions, reaching the lost.  It seems everyone has an idea and so much of it is really good stuff. From the beginning of missions and the pioneers who began taking the gospel into the world to the most tech savvy ways of making Jesus known these days, it seems endless really...And so does the judgement.  The judgements of music being too mainstream, short term mission trips hurting rather than helping, long term grueling change of a paradigm in a Godless culture with not enough measurable results, and the list goes on.  I have personally been on the side of being judged by the specific passion God has placed on my heart for outreach and missions and sadly enough I have to be honest I have been the one judging on more than one occasion.  So what do we do with the family feuding and in cahoots with the right way to do missions?  Well the only thing that I know is to go to the source.

Philippians 3:15 says, "If on some point you think differently, that too God will make it clear to you."

Let's face it family. We think differently. A lot.  Most of the time.  But it doesn't have to become a division, judgement, or an excuse to allow pride in the form of guilt and shame to make us complacent or pride in the form of arrogance and control to perform mission and outreach on our own excluding others and for our own glory.  We can go to the Source. The Word of God and through prayer and the Holy Spirit have the revelation of clarity on this issue.

So I did that.

Here is what I found....

Romans 12:3-21
(The Message version..its a lot of verses but a direct hit on bringing clarity to this issue.)
³  Live in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
^4-6 In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of His body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.
^6-8 If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

^9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

^11-13 Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
^14-16 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
^17-19 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
^20-21 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

This pretty much sums it up and need I say much more? 
A) Focus on Jesus he is the message and the reason we go.   
B) The methods by which we do outreach, get the gospel to the ends of the earth, and provide for those in need could look a million different ways. 
C.) Do what you are called to do specifically-preach, teach, meet a need, invite, visit, encourage, empathize, give, go and don't compare yourself to any other brother or sister who is next to you doing the same thing differently or something completely different.

There is no utopia outcome that as Christians we are going to come to in missions and evangelism that will finally give a one easy universal process for missions and out reach that will fit every situation in every culture and generation. The methods are limitless yet the message of Jesus remains and fits every single time.

A missionary of the faith C.T. Studd, who not only fits his name well, but a personal hero of mine in the faith said it so well, " Remember the miller’s donkey. The miller, son, and donkey went to the market. The miller rode the donkey all the way and people exclaimed, “Cruel man, riding himself and making his son walk.” So he got down and his son rode; then people slanged, “What a lazy son for riding while poor old father walks.” Then both father and son rode, and people said, “Cruelty to animals, poor donkey.” So they got down and carried the donkey on a pole, but folks said, “Here are two asses carrying another ass.” Then all three walked and people said, “What fools to have a donkey and not ride it.” So let’s go ahead with our work for God and not care what folks say."

So brothers and sisters...church...body of Christ... take the famous slogan of the shoes you might be wearing right now and JUST DO IT! The dream, passion or calling you have in your life is there for a reason, to bring glory to your Maker and to hopefully win a few. So what if it doesn't look like so and so or measure up to anther's standards.  Live your life for an audience of one-The One- do not and I repeat do not stand still in fear and complacency or wallow in the feeling off worthlessness.  What do you fear more? The putting yourself out there in uncomfortable circumstances and sacrificing to bring Glory to Jesus and make him known? Or the fear of doing nothing and living frozen with a stalemate life that you will someday stand before God and regret not having rewards to lay at his feet? So do something and go anywhere as long as it's forward. 

And here is the thing.  We are all going to mess it up at times...we are going to hurt instead of help, we are going to miss opportunities, we are going to move to fast and we are going to move too slow.  The beautiful mess of  humans spreading the life giving message of Jesus Christ is that he really doesn't need us at all. He could do it infinitely better without our imperfect lives; yet out of his great love for us chooses to use us to be messengers of His truth by filling us with His Holy Spirit; the Same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead and in that we not only reach the lost but get to know the heart of our Savior and spend intimate time with him.

The complexity of the lost, poverty, and brokenness is an endless sea to look at alone. But if we all drop our small pebbles of faith and watch the ripple effect of deeds and actions by joining together with our giftings, personalities, and abilities could we dare see the gospel get to the ends of the earth in our generation?

He Dances To Elmo

We sat outside of the room in plastic blue chairs waiting to head into the classroom this evening. It was the usually familiar routine for parent teacher conferences. We flipped through a packet of notes and grades that had been given to us as we entered the sixth grade hallway. No surprises... predictable high marks in each subject from my brown eyed pre-adolescent... until we got to the page labeled Science. Coincidentally his lowest grade; a little below perfect but that wasn't what caught our eyes.  Hand written in black ink on the white sheet of computer generated points and percentages it read "Where did Trey learn to dance?" Before we had a chance to hear, the door opened and we moved from the blue plastic chairs in the hallway filled with waiting parents to the ones on the other side of the half-moon table opposite to Mrs. Bailey, the science teacher. 

She proceeded to tell us that she had just been talking about Trey and asked if his ears were itching. She then began to tell this story.

You see if you attend Mrs. Bailey's 6th grade science class there is sometimes a little extra time at the end of class before the bell rings.  In this particular period there is a very special boy named Hunter who battles autism.  He has a fixation with Elmo. So on those days where there is a little extra time Mrs. Bailey will pull up Elmo dancing on You Tube to bring comfort and enjoyment to Hunter's world.  And on those days when Mrs. Bailey plays Elmo dancing, Hunter stands up and dances along.  As you can imagine this could get way out of control in a room full of awkward middle schoolers trying to pull out of childhood and find their place in the world.  I can only imagine the mocks and jeers my sixth grade class would have displayed at the unusually awkward presence of the now uncool Elmo in the classroom, not to mention a peer standing up and dancing alone.  The boys would make jokes to seem cool to the girls and the girls would either politely laugh at the boys comments hoping for their attention or shyly ignore the situation as not to stand out. This is not the report that Mrs. Bailey gave on the account of what happens in her classroom.  She continued with a smile on her face to say that Trey and one other boy get up and dance with Hunter when she plays Elmo.  And when they dance, they dance with kindness to make him feel at ease, so he is not alone. She finished up by saying, "And I don't know who taught him to dance but boy does he have the moves!"

It was in those moments at hearing the act of my son dancing to Elmo that the importance for high grades diminished, yes education is important and necessary and it doesn't come that easy for everyone. It's great to strive for excellence and do your very best everyday, but of utmost importance over a 4.0 grade point average is the grade point of the heart and depth of character.

I gave Trey a clear look of approval for his actions as humility flooded my heart.  This is something I had not specifically taught my son.  This act of dancing to Elmo speaks beyond the action itself.  The Lord has given Trey the gift of evangelism and hospitality.  He draws people in with his excitement for life in most every situation, well except for maybe doing dishes or eating any meal other than sushi.  He is passionate about Jesus with his whole heart and his unashamed attitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ is contagious.  At a very young age he began witnessing to his friends about Jesus  and even lead a neighbor boy through a prayer of salvation around the age of five.  Every Wednesday night we cart a load of middle school boys to youth group and they don't just get some teaching from the word at Church they get it on the 30 minute drive there and a recap on the way home laced with insight, excitement, and enthusiasm.  I don't write these words to puff myself up as a parent like, "Look what I've done,"  but to tell you that when you put the Word of God in your kids hearts, God shows up and brings his Holy Spirit to make it alive.  It is there that your child will learn to come alive with his or her giftings and abilities and fulfill their life purpose in reaching the lost for Christ weather traveling oversees to minister to an unreached people group or dancing undignified to Elmo in a small sixth grade class room in the Midwest. I've missed many opportunities and failed miserably as a parent.  I've half listened and over reacted.  I've chickened out in my own opportunities to be undignified and "mad" for My King.  But the truth of Christ that has been read, taught, prayed for and hopefully displayed in my flawed life of grace outshines all of the mosiac fractured pieces of parenting he has experienced. Trey's life has not been a continual bed of roses walk with Jesus either. He has experienced deep brokenness at a very early age through the tragedy of divorce.  Out of his brokenness he has clung to a Savior that has given him His joy to be his strength, which it is quite a beautiful collision in my son; authentic and a necessary sustenance in his everyday life as he walks his hard road and journeys to heaven while being given the ability to do an undignified Elmo dance along the way!

In the bible, 2 Samuel 6, tells of a similar account in King David's life.  David dances unashamed and excitedly before the Lord as he takes the presence of the Lord by the Ark of the Covenant back to his people.  He is so enthusiastic in his worshipful dance that he literally "looses his pants" in front of everyone without realizing it.  When he approaches his disapproving wife he exclaims, "I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes."

 May we each learn the lesson in doing whatever it takes to bring the light of Christ wherever we are.  Becoming undignified and unaware, removing presumptions, apprehensions, and comparisons in our worship of the Lord even if it means Dancing with Elmo!

A Broken Home

If there is one thing I will never get used to it’s the pain of watching my boys and my stepchildren live in a divorced family.  The Friday afternoon gut tug when they leave home for the weekend and the Sunday evening heartache when they have to say good bye to their dad again.  People say kids are resilient and they are. My kids have it good in so many ways, they have never wondered where their food was coming from.  They have A LOT of great people in their lives who love them so much.  They have had many opportunities that many kids don’t have to travel and try new things.  They are able to have a great education and access to healthcare.   They drink clean water every day in whatever flavor they would like. But still they ache. They share holidays.  They grieve a family they once had. I watch them ache and I try hard as I can with all my control freakishness inside me to play out a scenario that will escape my children from this ache. From this brokenness. And no matter what scenario I play out somebody loses and there is still ache.  I cry. Still. I get angry still and I go to God with my anger.  God I NEVER wanted life to be like this. This was never on my radar. I promised I would never allow my children to feel the hideous effects that divorce brings, God do you see this? God help. God can you understand? And As I wrestle and battle the turmoil inside. I hear it. Again. That small voice. Truth inside. The peace washes over me and I hear the God of the universe speak to my aching heart. “I know. I watch my kids, all my kids, on this planet from the beginning of time until now live in a broken home.  This world was not meant to be this way. Humans were not made for death and war and disease. They were made perfect and in my image. But my love allowed choice my love was not forced and they chose their own way. There was a great divorce. It happened in a Garden when man broke covenant with me. The whole earth aches because of that choice. Relationships suffer. Physical bodies suffer. I see the effects divorce has placed on my kids every day. But oh child do not lose heart because this world and this hurt is not the end. Divorce and a broken home is not where it ends. Redemption is here. Redemption is now. I made a way for my kids to be healed and whole and free and there will be a day when my kids will no longer live on this broken home called earth. I am preparing a place a place where there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more hurt, no more sorrow, no more death and my kids will live safe secure and free with me walking on streets of gold and living in mansions. I am preparing a wedding feast where the broken will be redeemed and there will be a wedding reconciling God and man into an eternal, never-ending unflawed perfectly bonded unity where worship praise and love of me will fulfill and restore man back to the way I perfectly created him in the first place. The sorrow I see in your heart and now on planet earth is only a portion of a very big picture. Hold on my child point your children to Me. Live in me.  Cling to me. Grow in me and allow my spirit to be the golden thread that binds you to continual truth as you live out your days in this broken home. Live them out well find purpose value and meaning. Keep your faith persevere do not quit you are headed home.”

My heart relents from my fighting stance, my circumstances, my children’s circumstances haven’t changed. But Home we are headed.