A Broken Home

If there is one thing I will never get used to it’s the pain of watching my boys and my stepchildren live in a divorced family.  The Friday afternoon gut tug when they leave home for the weekend and the Sunday evening heartache when they have to say good bye to their dad again.  People say kids are resilient and they are. My kids have it good in so many ways, they have never wondered where their food was coming from.  They have A LOT of great people in their lives who love them so much.  They have had many opportunities that many kids don’t have to travel and try new things.  They are able to have a great education and access to healthcare.   They drink clean water every day in whatever flavor they would like. But still they ache. They share holidays.  They grieve a family they once had. I watch them ache and I try hard as I can with all my control freakishness inside me to play out a scenario that will escape my children from this ache. From this brokenness. And no matter what scenario I play out somebody loses and there is still ache.  I cry. Still. I get angry still and I go to God with my anger.  God I NEVER wanted life to be like this. This was never on my radar. I promised I would never allow my children to feel the hideous effects that divorce brings, God do you see this? God help. God can you understand? And As I wrestle and battle the turmoil inside. I hear it. Again. That small voice. Truth inside. The peace washes over me and I hear the God of the universe speak to my aching heart. “I know. I watch my kids, all my kids, on this planet from the beginning of time until now live in a broken home.  This world was not meant to be this way. Humans were not made for death and war and disease. They were made perfect and in my image. But my love allowed choice my love was not forced and they chose their own way. There was a great divorce. It happened in a Garden when man broke covenant with me. The whole earth aches because of that choice. Relationships suffer. Physical bodies suffer. I see the effects divorce has placed on my kids every day. But oh child do not lose heart because this world and this hurt is not the end. Divorce and a broken home is not where it ends. Redemption is here. Redemption is now. I made a way for my kids to be healed and whole and free and there will be a day when my kids will no longer live on this broken home called earth. I am preparing a place a place where there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more hurt, no more sorrow, no more death and my kids will live safe secure and free with me walking on streets of gold and living in mansions. I am preparing a wedding feast where the broken will be redeemed and there will be a wedding reconciling God and man into an eternal, never-ending unflawed perfectly bonded unity where worship praise and love of me will fulfill and restore man back to the way I perfectly created him in the first place. The sorrow I see in your heart and now on planet earth is only a portion of a very big picture. Hold on my child point your children to Me. Live in me.  Cling to me. Grow in me and allow my spirit to be the golden thread that binds you to continual truth as you live out your days in this broken home. Live them out well find purpose value and meaning. Keep your faith persevere do not quit you are headed home.”

My heart relents from my fighting stance, my circumstances, my children’s circumstances haven’t changed. But Home we are headed.