Why I Cannot Stand...But Stand

I've seen quite a few Facebook posts recently that read, "Why I still stand with Planned Parenthood."  Before you close this blog because your as sickened as I am by all the political mudslinging on so many issues or flat out disagree I challenge you to read a little closer. Twenty years ago I found out during my junior year of high school that I was pregnant. Up until this point I had played off the good girl story to my parents and grandparents by living two separate lives quite well.  One part of me living solely for myself doing what I wanted, how I wanted and when I wanted hurting and disrespecting anyone that got in my way.  While all the while playing the nice little religious church girl on Sunday morning and in their presence.  In keeping with my two faced girl theme and not wanting to disappoint my family, a plan was devised to have an unfamiliar adult take me to Des Moines where they would sign for me to exercise my right of choice to have an abortion.  By this time I was four and a half months pregnant with a slight bulge to my adolescent abdomen. 

I had grown up hearing that life, all life was precious.  I had grown up watching my mother and grandmother attend pro-life meetings, wear pins of little babies in the womb on their lapels, and been taken to hear many a lady who had suffered traumatic grief and loss in their choice of decision to end the life of their unborn child.  Even still I was determined to save face.  Surreally I walked through those grueling days before the Friday I was to execute the plan.  The morning before the car was to pick me up and transport me to the clinic to rid my body of the life inside, I was showering  for school and unmistakably heard a voice inside my spirit ask."Are two wrongs going to make this right for you?"  At that moment the tough girl fell, the selfish girl surrendered and my soul began to weep...Long story short the appointment to abort my son was canceled, the perfect- girl role was also shattered and for good. Those parents and grandparents who had been played by me acted in love and forgiveness and showed me in those tender days the true love of Jesus as they stood by my side. My son, Logan Michael Foose, was born. The first days seeing this tiny little person I was grieved at my core that I could have ever labeled him a choice in my life.  For better than I ever knew he was a great design, a created soul and a wanted plan.  I have had the humble privilege of being this child's mother for nearly twenty years. Twenty years of struggle, triumph, victory and defeat.  Logan's little life was used before he could even speak to teach me about love, responsibility, consequences of actions and bring me back into the fellowship of a loving God whose heart I had grieved. I have watched this young man struggle with belief in his worth and value of himself, fighting through peer-pressure and bullying, being broken to his core in living through betrayal and every single time his Savior brought him through and was just as faithful to him as the day he fought on his behalf when he was in my womb.  This weekend I watched this young man, serve many peers in his generation at a youth conference, where he who once was the wall flower, got up on stage and danced, free, uninhibited and joyful. I had an, "It's a Wonderful Life," kind of of moment where I thought what if his life was ripped out of this scene and all of the scene's of life lived over the past twenty years? How different would things be?  I'm so glad I will never know. And so I did stand with Grace on my life that night in that large auditorium filled with energetic teens while I'm sure not only did it put a huge smile on his mama's face as well as a tear in her eye, but also on his faithful heavenly Father's.

Today I can say that I am thankful for pro-choice. Not in the venue of Planned Parenthood's Agenda of the holocaust to the innocent, but that there is a personal God who is pro-choice. A God who allows his creation to choose him or not, to go their way or his, to seek him or the world, to make their own choices or to align their life with his perfect will, to be filled with His Spirit or self.  Yes our God is Pro-choice because he is not a prideful, power tripping dictator but rather a loving selfless Father who pursues us even to the point of sending his wrath on his own Son to bridge the sin gap between us yet even still says...the gift is here it's up to you....Today I say once again in this ever so difficult life.. I choose you Lord Jesus thank you for being faithful and loving so much.

If you have had an abortion and not had the opportunity to heal and grieve there is help and hope and forgiveness.  The ground at the foot of the cross Jesus died on is level there is no better or worse.  You are worthy of his love and healing and forgiveness the choice is waiting for you.  If you have not made a saving decision to accept Jesus Christ as your savior and make him your choice he is gently and tenderly calling you...What will you choose?